Zodiac Rides Again - but nobody rides for free.

This is so freaking cool - and an absolute steal at $300. Now - if only I had $300! If anybody I know has come into some money and is feeling generous, you could grab it here and send it on over!

Got myself into a jam today. Been redrafting some of the layout and story in Too Hot and got it into my head that it still wasn't good enough, so I killed it and started from scratch. Reading much better for it though... the plan is to finish it this weekend and move swiftly on. I can't keep coming back to it like this but every time I do, I'm happier with it.

Rather excellently today, my publicist in New York (actually, she's my friend who lives in New York who happens to be a publicist, but it's close enough), reminded me that she was starting a new industry blog - I'll post the address both here and in the sidebar when it launches. Yours truly has been invited on board as a guest blogger - uncensored! Not strictly a music gig, but I'll probably make my part of it based in r'n'r - right now there's just so much to take pot-shots at it will be hard to resist.

Right... back to the grindstone you lazy pig. Lots to get finished this weekend. Watch out for some promotional Too Hot For Dogs e-cards coming your way in the next week or so too...

Currently listening to: Folklore and Superstition from Black Stone Cherry, Into The Sun from Candlebox and the advance Inner Party System album.
Currently re-reading: Lucifer - the legendary Vertigo imprint. Couldn't resist just one more go on the ride.
Currently getting wired for: Season four of Supernatural and season four of Prison Break.
Currently being badgered into: Going swimming tomorrow.

Shocking the Monkey & Too Hot For Dogs...

An update on some product here. I've delayed the release of Shocking the Monkey for about a week to around September 5. I just got a proof copy back from print and need to make a few changes - the biggest being the cover and how my excellent idea of transparent sections didn't work out so well. On the same track, the first proof copy of 2H4D came back this morning as well. I need to make a few changes to that and we're away.

Thinking about it, I don't think I've discussed much about how these are being released. One word. LuLu. I believe I said a while back "Let's see what the web is capable of when it comes to print on demand." Having got hard copy back of two very different formats, I can safely say that the web copes more than happily with it. I've seen a lot in my time and I'm more so much more than happy with the results. As the months turn into years, scary things will be done with this technology - but more on that later.

So far, so good. Let's get these puppies put to bed!

Burn Magazine - another flash post.

Bank holiday weekend here in the UK - that means more hours to multi-task. Over at the Burn Magazine blog, I've just posted our 50 Greatest Bands of all Time. It makes for interesting reading - especially as we went out of our way to avoid anything that might have gone before in Rolling Stone, Kerrang!, Spin etc. It's a truly unique snapshot on the view out of our window.

Wall to Wall - a flash post.

I had the bloody awful misfortune this morning to sit through Wall-E. Come back Johnny 5! All is forgiven!

Whetever...

I dived into Canterbury today to pick up a copy of Wormwood and thought I'd best replace the last two issues of the Umbrella Academy which I stupidly spilt coffee on a couple of weeks back. I went into Incognito, which has always been my store of choice. The big boss wasn't in this afternoon but there was a big boss stand-in. On the shelf, there were issues 1 - 4, but not 5 and 6. So the conversation went like this:
"Have you got the last two issues of this" - (obviously brandishing the other four)
"Have you looked on the shelf."

Now, to be honest, I thought that was pretty obvious as I was waving them around...

"Yes. They're not here."
"No, we haven't then."

And with that, she went back to whatever she was doing before. Anyway, the comic store that I'd never been in before - Whatever Comics - had moved to its new location not 30 feet away. I go in - it's a good looking store:

"Have you got the last two issues of Umbrella Academy?"
"Yes." The guy gets up off his ass, walks around to the racks, picks them up immediately and hands them back to me. Sold.

You know what? I'm a pretty loyal kinda guy but Incognito can kiss it. The new kid on the block just kicked your ass... but I still bloody forgot to pick up Wormwood.

Bite Size People and a response!

A couple of days ago, I was rummaging through my external drive looking for some docs that I had cut from 2H4D quite some time back. Along with what I was actually looking for, I found some poetry that I had carelessly archived 'job lot' in a folder called Untitled 6. (Don't ask - if you know me, you know why it's called that!)

Most of them aren't too shabby at all - there are a few that will remain in that folder forever, but there's a good haul that I figured I should do something with. I was going to post them here, but poetry is a bit subjective and that's not really the purpose of Zodiac Lung.

A little homework later and I found a site called Webook. It seems to be a pretty good site for all kinds of writing, but for me, I thought I would load every scrap of poetry deemed fit for public consumption and see what happens. It's as good a place as any for it - especially when the alternative is to leave it on the hard drive.

If that sounds like your bag of cats, the link to Bite Size People is here - you can navigate your own ass around the rest of the site from there. A couple of passers-by have already left some comments. Nice things too - which is cool... let's see what happens by the time I've emptied the hard drive. If it's looking swell, I might just do something else with it all.

Today also saw a response from an agent. I'm not going to prey on the negative of the rejection itself - I'm honestly seeing it as more of a positive for a few reasons. 1. It was a response 2. The submission had obviously been read and 3. It was a really nice reply. For the record, the submission was a first draft of issue one of Too Hot. I'm not too surprised but I think my submission letters are getting better and that can only be a good thing. Just hope I don't run out of agents before I've perfected it!

Also today, I took the Saab in to have get its brakes fixed up. Damn wheels were grinding more than Blackie Lawless' codpiece. The garage was this really old place called Rose's where the guys who do the work don't wear overalls, they wear short blue work coats. I picked it up when he said I could, he charged me what he said he would, he walked me to the car and shook my hand too. Holy crap - in 20 plus years of driving, I don't think I've ever had something called 'customer service' from a garage! That's the way to keep business coming back. They even did some bits I never asked them to. They'd also covered the seat in a thick cover branded with Castrol GTX - normally, you just get those disposable see through jobs, which kind of suggests the staff are looked after too. I know it doesn't sound much, but I tell you... it makes the world of difference to me.

Those production values keep on filtering out...

Spandex at the ready!

I know I can be preoccupied sometimes, but eventually I will notice that things are not as they should be - and so it was today that I noticed one of my favourite magazines DeathRay had not been around for some time now. A quick investigation of the web and it appears I am indeed, correct. From a full on 13 issues a year (that's a 4 weekly schedule if you're not in trade and are wondering how that might be) down to just four? I'll buy that - so long as what I'm buying into is the truth. I seem to recall being in those shoes myself not so long ago, but for the time being, I'll go along with the keeping the faith.

The full story about the current status of DeathRay and its now owner plus forthcoming sister titles is here. Fingers crossed guys - it's not just rough out there, it's positively shark infested.

Although the summer is almost over, it never really took off did it? Thankfully, there are some things happening this Autumn that we can rely on, namely:
This
This
This
and this

I love the autumn.

Ouch

For all those of you living in the UK who happened upon the twin programmes of "My Perfect Vagina" and "A Girls Guide to 21st Century Sex" whilst waiting for either Blade II or Hellboy to start (great programming huh), I'd just like to point out that having your labia surgically removed, your hymen reattached or your cock straightened out because it's bent all have nothing on the day I sprained the top of my thigh muscle at a martial arts competition and accidentally sprayed 'the whole package' with half a can of Ralgex or the day I pulled my shoulder out, treated it with Tiger Balm and then rubbed my eye with the same hand.

Please feel free to leave comments concerning maximum pain.

Entertaining the Troops

Here's what your evenings and weekends hold in store over the coming months at ye olde picture house. Enjoy!

Max Payne (right up my alley - bring it!)
The Spirit (possibly one for DVD, but you never know)
Punisher: War Zone (definitely one for DVD, but hey - it's the Punisher)
Cthulu (not sure about this one... )
Quantum of Solace (can't come fast enough for me!)
Watchmen (likewise)
The Day the Earth Stood Still (the Christmas sleeper?)

Empty Head Syndrome (I)

Started a plan of action today. This is more for my benefit than anybody else, but in time might prove to be a useful point of reference. Kind of looks like this:

Too Hot For Dogs:
Launch firsts two issues at BICS in October with the following issues coming out a month at a time after that. Just figuring out the virtues of hard copy vs soft copy at the moment. I'm edging towards choosing every available option for issue one and then settling into one of them very soon after - not necessarily the one that makes the most money either. I'm rather looking at the one that's got the most mileage in the system.

Carnival of Souls:
Three different promotional previews will be available for free download/podcast before I unleash Carnival in its entirety. Being a three book series, who knows what will happen. I want it out in the big bad world through a major publisher, but I'm not going to wait, so limited quantities will be available for a equally limited period. Shall investigate a pre-Christmas idea I have with some branches of Waterstones over the next few weeks - but let's get the damn thing finished first. I've brought this forward to before Almost Human simply due to other things happening which impact on the story...

Short Stories:
The plan of three a month for three months is going well. For September, The Tuba Farm is looking good, The Boy with Wasps for Eyes is not lagging far behind and to be honest, Soulbender is giving me some grief but that's OK. She has long legs and jut need pointing in a direction. This trio of terror will come out as follows:
One for free download here and various other sites
One pitched at a small press
One available as a free podcast here and various other sites

Which means that between now and the end of November, nine stories will come out - all of which have relevance on the bigger picture in some way.

Being as the self-publishing route might be a necessity in the early stages, I've also set up (gulp) an amazon account so those goodly folk of the world can actually get hold of things. This is starting to get serious! Let's get this show on the road.

Tubas, wasps and more wasps

Real news: finished first draft of The Tuba Farm tonight. The first short story off the block and I'm really pleased with it. I'm going to sit on it for a week, edit it next and in the meantime finish off The Boy With Wasps for Eyes and edit that the week after - with the wind behind me, that's a realistic schedule to get six shorts out into the public domain.

That's all today.. just busy hacking it out. Unless you count this message from my old Tae Kwon Do instructor:

"Great idea for a tribute band. Queen Wasp. I'll camp it up and be Freddie, you glam it up and be Blackie. Simple. We'll earn millions. All we need is a band who can play and be told what to do."

Strangely, I'm almost tempted...

Clip of the day: Font Conference (it's a design thing...)

and then I found this which had me on the floor: Scooby Doo CSI

Hello England... Poland calling!

Wonders will never cease. For those who have been following the tale of the beloved Audi and the sale thereof, I just received an email from Les, the guy who bought it - and I quote - well, cut n paste:

Hello Mate.
It actually did the whole distance :)
I only had problems with the transmission. It didn't want to change gears sometimes. I am amazed it didn't brake down. Now I hope I'll manage to sell it with a bit of profit :) Take care.
Regards
Les

In my heart, I knew she would make it. Not sure about that 'transmission' bit though. She'd only ever been in either Drive or Reverse for the last six years, it was probably a bit of a shock to the system if he put it in anything else. Funny the things that can make your day huh.

That haircut thing happened today as well. It may take a while for what's left of said hair to get over the shock but I think it will be OK. It's not like some Navy Seals type of thing going on or anything, but it is markedly shorter than previous. When we've got over the shock and it does what it's told, I may even post a picture.

Brave.

Spooks - Code 9 or Code Red?

I was really looking forward to Spooks:Code 9 but having lived through the first two episodes, I'm not so sure anymore. It appears to be pitched somewhere between Spooks and Torchwood. It's fast cutting and graphics suggest this at least, so why are we not getting along? Let me list the sins:

The 24 style clock and shooting a man in the foot because he wouldn't talk. Only Jack should do Jack. It's not homage, it's ripped off and smells like it too.

After two eps, I can only remember one characters name and I don't care if any of them dies. That's bad. Combine it with I don't relate to any of them or even care about them is a bad thing. This suggests that either a) I'm too old to get it or b) it's not written very well. On the basis that a) is correct, stop pitching it at my peak viewing time. If b) is correct, bloody fix it because the premise is actually pretty good.

See, I want to like it and I want to like it a lot, but they're not helping. If they cut the bad language, the guns and the shagging references it could be moved to a kids tv slot. That's how much it wants to be all things to all people - and if it wants to do that, it needs either some aliens or monsters, but then I suppose it would be TorchWood. File under pending.

Meantime, can we have Spooks back please.

Official site: www.bbc.co.uk/spookscode9
First two episodes currently available on iplayer.

Do Not Become Attached to Inanimate Items

She's gone. Left. No longer to ever be seen again. My beautiful Audi 80... the tale of where she's gone is pretty neat. She was bought by this really nice Polish guy who is basically going to drive her to Poland to be taken to pieces and sold as individual parts. When I asked him if it was worth a lot, he said no. It would just about cover his petrol money to get there. I didn't ask any more questions than that. There must be more to it than that otherwise, why would you do it? I might try and hook up with him when (if) he comes back - I'm genuinely interested in what the story is there.

I watched her drive away up the road until I could see no longer... but that would be because of the smoke coming out of the exhaust and not because he'd gotten too far. Good luck my friend! May you have as many exciting adventures as I did.

My buddy Kahn - ex Mr Deputy Ed at Burn - sent me a text this morning too letting me know he'd just done his first gig as a stand-up. I am so jealous. It was a 10 minute opening slot but I bet it was the longest 10 minutes in the entire history of the world. Like I said, I'm jealous - what that actually means in the real world, I dread to think but I understand the implications fully. Damn.

Yesterday, we all went to a place called WildWood. It's a conservation area for native British creatures. So, £30 later and I'm looking at animals in enclosures that I can see for free if I look out of my window:

Fox - check. He was trying to get in the garage to empty the bin.
Heron - check. Last seen fishing for breakfast on Thursday in the river.
Raven - check. They're currently still nesting in the trees in the graveyard next door.
Adder - check. Last seen trying to escape from Lilly and Poppy in the garden. One day they'll get the conservation message.
Beaver - er... OK, so we haven't got a beaver and they're pretty cool but you get what I'm saying.

Kids had fun though.

It's 12.30 on a Sunday afternoon and world is tilting on its axis already - must be time to start writing in a minute.

Samson and Goliath

Just booked a little appointment on Tuesday to visit the people who wield scissors for a living.

That gives me four days to back out.

One Big Crunch

My buddy Ian just sent me an email suggesting - and I quote - that he "thought a blog was supposed to be updated regularly". Wise words from somebody who has drawn one picture in the last two years, but he has a point.

The Gods of Busy have descended on me this last week or so. Today is my last day with this issue of Burn (12) before I hand it over to be made into something useful. I'm giving myself the weekend off though before I start on issue 13. I think that might be allowed. Truth be told, I think that might be enforced otherwise I might find myself divorced and childless! If you read in between the lines, that means I will have stealth notebooks to hand and scraps of paper in every room in the house.

My personal goal of writing at least two short stories a month is going well. The August projects are The Tuba Farm and The Boy With Wasps for Eyes, but they seem to have also been joined by another story that came out of the blue called - at the moment - Feel the Soulbender. The first two stories have been around forever and have needed finishing off for far too long so it will be nice to release them into the wild.

I've also decided that at the end of August, the first issue of Too Hot For Dogs must be published. There's a couple of options of how to do it and because it will set the tone for the other five in the series, it's being analysed from all angles - which is about as much fun as it sounds.

In fact there's been a lot of 'deciding' around here lately, culminating in a 'project timeline' (scrap of paper under fridge magnet). If I can stick to my own self enforced deadlines, by the end of the year I should be in pretty good shape. Over at James Moran's blog, he does this end of year thing where he lists his achievements and analyses how well he's doing in the realm of the Big Picture. It's a great idea and one that shall be repeated here. The one thing I am pleased with so far, is how many comic books I've written this year and thrown away. There must be at least seven. One shot issues, created from scratch and then dumped basically in the name of getting Too Hot For Dogs looking its best. A creative undercoat if you like.

The most frustrating thing with this "fuck it, I'm going to be a writer if it kills me" attitude, is how much work is sitting around doing nothing, but having been in a band and then written about bands for far too long, I've seen some of the best go down simply because they relied on their first batch of songs. There's no point writing a killer book and thinking you're the honey pot because no publisher will give a damn if you can't back it up with the next one and the next one. Which is basically why there's so many projects going on here.

In other scraps of news, my beloved Audi - my best friend (ish) for the last six years will be going tomorrow. I will take some pictures for prosperity. We have shared some good adventures. This Saab thing is OK, but somehow it's just not the same.

I found myself at church again this morning and it's a Friday! It's the last day of kids club so I went to see what they had made and to hand over some cash to for kids in Romania who were saving up for food and water - which kind of puts saving up to go on holiday into perspective. I didn't know that Moses killed somebody - you certainly do learn something new every day! Andy - the vicar - also learnt something new today. That I used to be in a band. Rhiannon has been telling everybody she can find that "My Dad used to be a rockstar when he was a ladyboy". Thankfully, most people are intuitive enough to figure out what she means. I'm guessing the rest of them are just avoiding me now and/or don't like glam rock.

Worse/funnier/cooler still (delete as appropriate), somebody I'm chatting to at a print company found out that I used to wrestle a bit and was called the Black Stallion. What can I tell you... I was young! It sounded cool at the time and was certainly no worse than having a name like El Matador or SharkBoy. I've Googled it already and thankfully, it was so under the radar that no evidence of said miscarriage of justice exists. (How odd that in blogger, it thinks that 'googled' is a typo).

Objects in the rear view mirror certainly do seem closer this week.

Currently listening to: FUEL: Angels & Devils, Michelle Branch: Hotel Paper and Lifehouse: Who We Are.
Finished reading: Paradise Lost (all will become clear as to why later), The Owl Service by Alan Garner and See A Grown Man Cry from Henry Rollins.
Currently reading: Nothing. Must do some writing this week, but it will definitely be interspersed with diving into the superb Vertigo first issue digital archive which you too can also enjoy here.
Clip of the day: Criss Angel turns little girl into an adult and this classic here: (don't try these at home unless you can do it better!)

Them Vs You Vs Me

Blog title today comes from the name of the new Finger Eleven album - lovingly packaged by Hero PR and received by me this very morning in a very appreciative manner. Good start to the day. If you like your rock Canadian sized and appreciate the likes of Our Lady Peace, this is just the very thing and you should buy it from here.

Back to business. This week has seen a thorough investigation into what the whole world is doing in the comic industry. My conclusion? The industry is faring very well and there is some excellent talent out there. Hooked in here is 'book cover of the week': Too Cool to be Forgotten from Alex Robinson

There's something heartwarming about taking an exceptionally ordinary idea and turning it into something really special! Why does it get me? No idea - but the art I like is usually an image that I don't have to think about but says everything it needs to say in one shot. Note to self: drop the guy a line and rustle up an interview for Burn... bound to be a good one by default!

Talking of art, here's a preview of the 20th Anniversary poster for Sandman. I wonder if those 20 years went as fast for Gaiman as they did for me. When you set yourself an icon, it can be hard work to consistently shoot arrows that high in the sky - but then again, it's no harder than shooting arrows at a target on the ground.

Strikes me that I've been very focussed on art for some reason for a while now. For a while I was concerned that I should be concentrating on writing not art - being a writer and all, but that would derail me. It seems to be more about translating what I write into genuinely accessible work. For some reason my (part-time) artist buddy Ian, decided this week to write a script. Maybe he's going through the same thing in reverse. Maybe the Gods have a big plan. Time will tell where that one goes, but is it foolish or sheer genius to have an Opel Manta as the main car in your script?

Talking of Gods, a couple of Jehova's Witness girls came round this morning. I'm always pleased to welcome them into my house. Sadly, this morning I was brushing my hair but I did take their books. If they have spent the time to come here, it is the very least I can do to read their books. I'm hoping that one day soon I'll be able to return the favour and foist some copies of Too Hot For Dogs on them.

Today, I have The Watchtower and also a copy of Awake! There's a good looking article in Watchtower about the Tower of Babel which I shall have much joy in marking up with errors and handing it back next week.

More later possibly - I have an appointment with some rough looking Korean horror flicks right now.

Currently listening to: Them Vs You Vs Me | Finger 11
Currently reading: Spares | Michael Marshall Smith

Too busy to blog?

Almost - but I have found some bloody excellent things on my research travels.

First of all, here's a guy that deserves checking out: Almacan

Then I found this old classic, that's always worth another look. I'm thinking that Charlie should maybe have a stab at recreating something like this for 2H simply on the grounds that I love it.

Arthur Rackham is the man... aside from this image which I believe is called Rackham's Wolves, he also did the one on the right called Solomon and the Stocking - which if my memory serves me correctly, my ma has a small woodcut of - or at least I think she used to... must ask. I think there was a series of them.

Cheating and pimping...

Lurking at some of my favourite places and found this superb cartoon. Check out the original, bookmark his site, spend your money there and raise your freak flag high... Shannon Wheeler is the man!

In 5000 words or less...

It's Thursday and aside from the interviewing, transcribing and general witchcraft associated with Burn that has been going on, I've finished up three short stories - and I'm feeling a bit pleased with myself. My plan with the shorts is to write three a month. One I'll give away for free right here, one will be pitched to be published in a short story magazine and the other will be published through an online magazine/site.

If my maths are worth anything at all, this means that by the end of the year, there will be 18 shorts in circulation which is a good start at collecting collateral on my reputation as a writer. The stories are split into two genres, possibly three. Each month there will be an Inspector Kang story, the other will be in the 'weird tales' vein. I say maybe three because there's every chance they might cross over. It's not really important. The important thing is to get this stuff out there. I should also point out that this will be an end of the month arrangement! That will at least give me time to hit the small presses up and see what happens.

Hey - it's a plan - and I don't do plans.

Along with Too Hot For Dogs steaming along and Almost Human firing on all cylinders, I'd say I was back in the arena of pleasure!

A while back I made a post called what the hell is this? Well, I've found another and it looks like this:
OK, it's not as far out there as my first "what the hell is this" but it still doesn't look right. It's not doctored or photoshopped - in fact, unlike the first one - which I really don't have any clue about and probably never will - I think this is a shoebill. In fact, I'm pretty sure it is. I may have to write a story about it. The damn thing looks like it came out of the Henson creature shop. Maybe I'll do some kind of play on that old story about Gef the Talking Mongoose. Laugh away ye heathens. Gef is the real deal - see the link here.

More "what the hell is this" soon. I'm becoming addicted...