THE PEN IS MORE PORTABLE THAN THE SWORD
Flower Soldiers
I decided to type up some of my notes this evening, maybe even start working all of these scraps of paper into something concrete. One in particular has confused me somewhat. I don’t know if I wrote it or I copied it down from somewhere. This is what it says: “We flower soldiers are like the clouds in the sky. We appear and we disappear. We appear among the people then disappear like the clouds. Be thunder. Be lightning. Be a terrible wind. Be a calm breeze.
Be as noisy as the clouds while they form their presence. When you thunder, remember to first flash your lightning of warning. Survive as a human who will leave a legacy of lightning and nourishing rain. Those who learn from you will be a rainbow. That can be their destiny if they choose it. But never seek to have people understand you. How is it possible to understand a cloud?”
I hope I wrote it, but I can’t be sure. I don’t remember writing half of the stuff I’ve found this evening. Hmm.
The brick wall
Coming up to the last draft of my Who script at the moment, thus, been immersing myself in top grade scripts for the last few days - luckily including this weeks Who, The God Complex, which has been absolutely one of the best in this run. This has included Life On Mars (both series), Mad Men (season 2 and 3) and some simply brilliant stuff from the past like The Sweeney and The Avengers along with some un-nameable materials. I don’t want to fire off all of my guns at once by telling exactly what, but it all makes for what I like to think of as a home-made swimming pool in which to bathe my ideas. Hey - it works for me.
However, time has caught up with me and I must put this to one side to do some proper work today. With a couple of articles to write and three interviews to do before the morning, I don’t think I’m going to get much more finished off on this today.
Normally I would, but the Gods have chosen to flood my physical being with a good dose of man-flu, but if feels like proper flu to me.
Sigh.
A collection of things
Wow. Look at me. I seem to have a lot to say for myself this week. First up - or I’ll just forget (again) - is this guest post on getting published in a magazine that I wrote for Bubblecow. It might be a little harsh but it’s the truth as I see it - and believe me, I am probably one of the most easy-going of our kind out there. If you can see past and through the words, it’s a pretty positive piece. Honest it is. And if you can’t see through it, maybe you should rethink what you really want out of life.
•••
During my ‘research’ (aka, idly surfing the web) for some projects I’ve got rolling, I’ve come across some real nuggets lately.
Over in New York at ACA Galleries, (529 West 20th Street) and running from 15 September to 22 October is the mighty intriguing Shamanic Illuminationsexhibition that features the art of Pablo Amaringo (below), Alex Grey and Mieshiel.
This is a subject close to my heart and not one I talk about very often but honestly, if you get a chance and you’re in the vicinity, get your ass down there. Meantime, must check flight prices. It’s about time I got back over there.
•••
Meanwhile, back at the ranch (well, at the Scottish Poetry Library), talented people have been doing really cool things with books and scissors:
For more great paper carve-ups and jaw dropping moments, check in at Central Station and maybe check out this little collection of goodies.
Saturday supplement
I like blogging on Saturdays. Back when I was at my other home (now sadly but sensibly archived offline), I used to spend most Saturday mornings blogging the week in the kitchen listening to, and most times commenting on, the album releases of the week. Things have changed around here. I think these days, because I’m writing every single day, it’s not such an outlet which is a bit of a shame - but we shall write all the same.
What kind of Saturday would it be if we didn’t include some Doctor Who artwork? Well it would be the kind of Saturday that turned into a Monday when I wasn’t looking for a start, but don’t hold it against me.
This one nods its head at last weeks Night Terrors:
Smooth - and I thought that was going to be it, but moments later, I came across this great photograph of Karen. I don’t know where it’s from though. if anybody knows, let me know because I can always use somebody who takes pics this damn good…
On the shopping list this week was Alice Cooper and his Welcome 2 My Nightmare release. I wasn’t sure what to think about it when I knew it was happening but hadn’t heard it and now I actually have it, I’m even less sure. It comes down to a couple of really important things:
1. Those are big shoes to fill. Welcome To My Nightmare isn’t a scratchy stand-alone slice of greatness from back in the day anymore - it now has a story that comes after. That’s not always a good thing. One should never go back.
2. This second slab is tres-moderne in its production. I guess that can’t be helped as it’s 2011 but why not call it something else? I can’t be the only one who thinks this is an incredibly bad idea.
All of which really culminates in how I approach it and not what it really is. Back then, Alice was weird, Alice was dangerous and Nightmare was out on the furthest limb I could find. I’m not a big fan of sequels because inevitably they hardly ever work.
The cover of the original Nightmare (below) was so off-kilter it worked as a freak-out all on its own. The new one (above), not so much… too obvious for my liking. It’s almost like the record company figured Alice fans might not get it, but Alice fans are among the smartest in the world. We’ve worked with his subtleties for years on end and happened to enjoy every single one. Even the one about the sawdust and the teddy bear.
What we should really be talking about is the music though. Except I can’t really find any to hang my hat on. It all seems a little contrived for my liking. There’s some good songs for sure but none are particularly memorable, which is not the case on his four previous albums. Truth be told, Welcome 2 My Nightmare is not a sequel at all - it’s a tribute album to the original. There’s even an instrumental montage at the end of all the great bits of the first one to remind us.
Or have I simply missed the point. I might have to come back to this but as a long-time and hardcore fan, my disappointment is probably obvious.
Feeding time at the zoo
For those of you paying attention, you’ll already know I’m a dad of two girls. One is nearly 15, the other 10. We get along brilliantly but life is not without its little potholes for any of us. Thankfully, ours are relatively small in the big scheme of things but one of the things I promised myself I would address this year was their diet. Not that it was horrendous - in fact it was, and is, reasonably healthy. It just happens to be littered with some “added extras” if you know what I mean. If we’re being honest here, “high calorie added extras”. The type that normally have a sexy wrapper around them late at night… or maybe come in a box of six with a 20 minute lifespan once opened.
So I figured it was about time I fixed it - after all, it’s my bloody fault.
First port of call - the school lunchbox. Here’s a sample school lunchbox from me from last year. It got overhauled then too but maybe not enough:
Fruit juice. Carton of. Natural as possible. Vary between orange, apple and pineapple.
Crackers - trying to avoid bread as much as possible due to lots of bread at other parts of the day.
Chicken. Sometimes processed/sometimes fresh. Good source of protein.
Cucumber. Sliced. Add to chicken. Sandwich between crackers. Presto.
Cereal bar. They look healthy on the box but I probably should read it a bit closer. Those fuckers are great at tricking you.
Sometimes, a packet of crisps. Not every day… just sometimes.
Fruit always comes home uneaten so I stopped even bothering. Variants on this lunchbox are available but this is mostly it.
So A) as you’ll see it’s reasonably healthy but B) it’s boring as hell.
So tonight, I thought I’d take up the challenge to get it right this year and I hit the web in search of some clever ideas that maybe other grown-ups like me had contributed to the world.
Ha. Ha.
OK - so I’ll do it myself. I’m not stupid, I can figure this out in an hour or so, and I did. But on the road to enlightenment, I also came across this:
http://www.kidspackedlunch.co.uk/our_service.html
Read it. If you’ve got kids, read it twice. In what possible world could anybody live in that you can’t spare ten fucking minutes to make your child some freaking lunch?
I quote:
“We are busy mums of young children and, like all parents, we know how important it is that our children eat healthily and how difficult it can be to find the time to prepare fresh and varied lunches every day.”
Well, you know what, I’m a busy Dad. I run two international magazines, blog twice a day, every day (somewhere), I have the same chores that everybody else does, pets, cars blah blah blah, but I would never, ever not be able to find the time to make my kids something to eat, or hear what they have to say.
Half of these people probably need to find the time to feed a dog in the morning. They can also probably find 30 minutes to cock about on their Blackberry. This is a sad state of affairs.
Anyway, I was going to drop the nice people an email and tell them what I thought but they won’t read it because they are all too busy. Hey - here’s a thought. If you didn’t try to babysit other parents who are too rich to make their own kids a lunchbox, you’d have lots of time to make your own kids something wouldn’t you.
Sorry. Sometimes people just really fuck me off with their self-righteous money-making schemes that are dressed up as concern for others.
Lord of the Things. Part One. The Fellowship of the Things.
Took some time off from life and technology for the last ten days. Came back to find an inbox choking itself to death, a blog crying out for some content and a fridge with no food in it. Welcome to life in the twenty-first century.
There are a million things in my head to write about but let me start with something that needs saying. Hopefully by writing it out, my head will calm down.
At my core, I’m very easy going, but sometimes people can sneak in between the cracks and along with making me pissed off, make themselves look stupid and inefficient - and sometimes, a company can make your day go great because they’re that damn good at what they do.
In the name of ‘customer service’ the whole world over, here’s what I learned this week:
Digital Village (digitalvillage.co.uk) - a week or so ago, I bought myself a new Ibanez 12 string from gear4music.com - the sexy beast arrived the very next day. I figured it might actually need a hardcase and not the box it came in so I picked one up at digitalvillage - or at least I thought I did. It took an extra day for them to approve my card payment by email and then another whole day to write and tell me it wouldn’t be delivered until February. FEBRUARY! I could make one myself by then.
Moral of the story? Just because you have the tech know-how to build an online shop doesn’t mean you should open one. I should have stayed with gear4music - who, now I look properly, actually have one in stock and I can have it tomorrow…
WINNERS: gear4music VERY POOR LOSERS: digital village
LOOKERS SAAB: On the flip side of the coin, I had a little electrical problem with my Saab while I was away (ie: it was dead, dead, dead). We called the RAC guy out but two hours later, even he had to admit defeat as he couldn’t get behind the dashboard and we agreed to tow it away to the nearest Saab dealership for some tech advice.
I was up in North Wales at the time, so it wound up at Lookers Saab in Chester - where they:
- Called me first thing next day to see what I wanted to do
- Fixed it - and explained in English what was wrong - without cocking about
- Charged me a decent price all things considered
- Checked the rest of the car over for wear and tear
- Washed the damn thing before they gave it back
- When I left all the paperwork on their desk by accident, they mailed it to me the next day
The RAC were great. He went through everything he could, called everybody he knew and took her away with zero hassle - which is pretty much what I needed right then. Lookers rocked even harder. I’ve never been to a garage that treat you like you’re important before. Come to that, I don’t think I’ve ever been to a garage where I haven’t choked on the bill. Nice work everybody - and I still love the car despite it throwing me a curveball.
WINNERS: Everybody VERY POOR LOSERS: er… actually, nobody in this case…
I also decided to get myself an ipad last week. It was a late evening decision - one of those where you want something “right now”. After checking in at PC World, Currys and Tesco - which all happened to be open, the next day I ended up atStormFront - the Apple store in Canterbury.
I should have known better than to go to PC World in the first place. I’ve never had a nice experience in there my whole life. How can it take somebody 20 minutes to go and see if they have one? Which they didn’t - and no, I wouldn’t like to consider an android model as an alternative. What freaking planet are you on? Tesco where slightly better but instead of 20 minutes to go and see if they had one, it was 20 minutes to wait for somebody to ask. They didn’t have any either but “might tomorrow”.
Sigh.
When I got to StormFront, I was in and out in about five minutes and we even had a few laughs thrown in for good measure.
When will people learn that being in business isn’t all about turning over the cash? We all know it’s integral because that’s what business is about, but there’s a way to do things that make customers come back time after time.
WINNERS: StormFront VERY POOR LOSERS: You can figure it out yourself
Rant over. What did I learn? When you want something done properly, go see a specialist.
•••
I’m struggling with my book collection at the moment. I don’t know what to keep and what to purge. So far, I’ve replaced an awful lot of them with digital copies for the iPad. Some of the hard copies where easy to get rid of but some are ‘sticky’. They really don’t want to go, but I’m so near to my goal of only owning six items (clothes not included) that I really want to get this final shove underway.
I hardly ever read a book twice, so there’s no real reason to keep hold of them. I just like having them around I think, but they’re not even decorative anymore. They sit on a whole load of shelves out of sight. Does anybody have any advice before I drive myself insane over something relatively unimportant…
•••
Right, that’s the top level scooped off. More later…
MR SMITH ON WRITING (1)
I have a notebook (the paper kind) - or rather I used to have a notebook. Actually, I used to have a severe addiction to notebooks. If a notebook was well put together, it usually had my name on it. Around the time that I moved the blog here from blogger, I decided I had way too many and began to cull them. Drastically. This meant starting, finishing, abandoning or postponing the projects that were hidden in said notebooks. I’m about half way through the big cull with the aim of having only one notebook left - and that notebook is called Evernote.
This post is actually leading somewhere else, but if you’re in the same boat as me, Evernote is everything you could ever need and probably more. The other providers may tell you their stuff is the best, but take it from one who knows and who has tested all of them - as somebody that spends every waking hour being productive at home and on the road, Evernote rocks. Hard.
Anyway, back to the post. I was trawling through some notes I had made for myself to check from various online sources and I keep coming back to one. It’s a good one, so I thought I’d share…
Jane Friedman at Writer’s Digest made the following statement a little while back:
“Getting a book published does NOT equate to readership. You must cultivate a readership every day of your life, and you start TODAY. Your readers will not be interested in reading just one book; they will be interested in everything and anything you do—and that includes interacting with you online. Audience development doesn’t happen overnight (or even in 6 months or a year)—and it’s a process that continues for as long as you want to have a readership. It shouldn’t be delayed, postponed, or discounted for one minute.”
I’ve never heard it said quite so succinctly before, but it bangs the nail squarely on the head. As I always like to point out, with a twist in the right direction, that statement can and will stand up to just about anything you’re trying to achieve in life.
It’s not up to anybody else anymore. Whether you’re looking for a publishing deal or determined to go it alone, the work is the same. It’s up to you to make it happen and back up the product. An album lasts what, maybe 40 minutes? I can read an average sized book in a day with no distractions. Is that all the interaction you want with your audience? It’s not enough. To paraphrase some shiny metal soldiers: ‘you will be superceded’ by those who can be bothered to maintain their audience attention - no matter how good your product is.
Le Fin.
Back to work…
Mr Smith: On Writing (II)
Having five minutes to rub against each other is a luxury this week, but I figured that as I put in an 18 hour day yesterday, I’d best catch up with things here. Now that I’ve settled into the way tumblr behaves and find that I’m liking it very much as a platform, it’s probably time I started using/abusing the system sensibly. I looked long and hard at it and find that tumblr is prime for treating blogging activity like building a weekly magazine. Which is good news for me being a mag editor.
Somewhere in secret, I’ve started a list of tags to repeatedly use - I guess they’ll eventually become the ‘magazine sections’ but aside from that, I’m going to look closely at exactly what this ‘me’ magazine will be about. I am also very tempted to commit to posting everyday. I did this once before a couple of years ago and kept it up for a good couple of months quite successfully. That was also before I had decent technology that now enables me to post everyday if I want to.
Anyway, what might those sections of the magazine be? I read today at thebubblecow blog that you shouldn’t blog about yourself, but to a point, I’m going to have to disagree with this. There are some blogs I follow where blogging about self really doesn’t work - rather a lot of them now I come to look - but it rather depends on your writing style. I’ve been doing this long enough now to know that my style allows me to randomly post about my kids, a bird coming down the chimney… but it doesn’t work for everybody - I’m probably helped in this my having a ‘magazine head’.
Followers of the Neil Gaiman blog will know that he posts rather a lot about himself as well as his work. It should be boring, but it’s not. I think the key to success either way with this is to fully understand what you’re trying to achieve with your blog, rather than having a blog for its own sake…
Books of Magic: 6
Went out for dinner this evening. Fantastic meal. Goats cheese panini and a latte in Costa Coffee. Very tasty indeed. On the way back to the car, dropped into Smiths and found a neat little display of the re-released Doctor Who books (originally published by Arrow I believe) from way back. To be fair to Smiths, who would normally sell your mother to squeeze an extra couple of pence out of you, they have a reasonable offer on. A buy one get one half price. Given that they’re a decent £4.99 each to start with, I thought I might try a couple out.
This first of these, Doctor Who and the Daleks, comes under my Books of Magic banner. My Ma bought it for Christmas for me one year and that was when I fell in love with the Doctor. It’s nice to see you again old friend.
I wasn’t really sure which if the others to pick up to go with it, so I closed by eyes, stuck my hand out and came back with this:
I guess I may as well pick all of the others up too - no doubt if I look on amazon, I can pick them all up for about £5. This is what they look like:
Swallowing Amazon
At stupid o’clock last night, I thought I should maybe upload a single image to my amazon pages that I’ve been meaning to do for ages. As with all things online these days, it didn’t quite end there - and neither is it finished. I published The Language of Thieves and Vagabonds for the kindle and then discovered that I could also publish this blog to the kindle as well. I’m not entirely sure why people would subscribe to blogs on the kindle when they could get them for free online, but mine is not to question why, they obviously do, so this is available also. Neat.
I then got heavily involved in tidying up my author page and my members profile. Two different things don’t you know! No, I didn’t either but I do now and worth doing as well from what I can gather from long time members who could be bothered posting about it.
I never did upload the image I meant to. I’ll do that in a moment but trawling about, I’ve found that my wish list, astore and a host of other things on there can also be highly visible - and that filters out to both the .co.uk and the .com stores.
…and then I dipped a toe into formatting everything so that it could also be read on all the other e-reading devices, but that can wait. About 15 years ago, I’m sure Adobe swore blind that Acrobat was going to be the answer to all our questions.
•••
I also found a great scriptwriting competition that I made some notes about. One thing is for sure, we’re gonna need a bigger whiteboard. I was actually asked for some advice about entering competitions the other day. It’s not something I do a lot of anymore but win or not, they are useful for a whole host of things: getting something finished by somebody else’s deadline for one. Having another finished piece of work in the bag for another.
Also worth looking at if you’re busting your face in the writing game is James Moran’s recent post about dealing with rejection. I guess it could also apply to any kind of rejection but it’s a great post that pretty much tells it like it is. God knows, if there’s one thing you need to master more than your actual craft, it’s how to handle the knocks…
•••
Tired now.
Bed is for sleepy people.
Back to work…
BT. PHONE HOME...
After two years of working with 3 and their MiFi services, I bit the bullet this week and signed up to hardwiring the house in an attempt to get more data that doesn't costa del bomb. That kicks in next Wednesday, so being as there'll be a socket going begging on the wall (or next to the window as it actually is), I thought I might as well get a phone to stick in it.
Man, there are some serious pieces of technology on the market, but I just want a phone y'know. We already have four phones and more tech than we know what to do with here, so I've gone for this totally unrivalled piece of Life On Mars kit.
Want to know what it does? Well, you can call people on it or alternatively, pick up the handset and answer a call. Brilliant. In extreme circumstances, you could probably also wield it to kill a burglar. It's 52 years old, reconditioned and cost the princely sum of £20 on eBay - but that was only because I wanted to make sure the eager beavers in front of me in the queue didn't get it. There are some fakes out there with press button dialling in the holes but where's the fun in that?
This phone is the future of telecomms. Get on the horse or er... walk.
DAYTRIPPER
It's not often I go over the top about too many things - at least I don't think it is. I may be "very enthusiastic" about certain things that are great, but the spin does tend to drop off within 24 hours as I move on to the next thing.
However, some things are too good to let go with a single crack of the whip. Daytripper is one of those things. If you've fallen behind with graphic novels, feel like you can take them or leave them or have even never read on in your entire life, change all of those things now. Go and pick up a copy of Daytripper today - or order it from here.
Quite possibly, it's the most important graphic novel published since, well, the others weren't really important as such - they were fun. Daytripper has got some really serious depth and if you're smart about reading it, it will put a lot of things into perspective for you on any aspect of life that you might like to attach to it.
Alternatively, you could always just pick it up and enjoy it for the killer story it is and let certain aspects of it wash over you, but I don't see how anybody with any remnants of a soul possibly could.
I'm not alone in my thinking. This past weekend at the MCM Comic Expo in London, the book won two shiny Eagle awards.
Check in on Gabriel Ba and Fabio Moon here. I can put it no better than they did themselves:
"This is our book, about a regular guy in Brazil without super powers, that's not a zombie and that have not been turned into a major motion picture. It's just our book, and apparently people want to read it."
IT'S SUPER BLOG SATURDAY!
My friend Brian Ewing has this week released this killer poster for The Black Angels. I fell in love with it as soon as I saw it. Good thing I'm pretty struck on the band as well... there's a space right next to the window all lined up for it.
You can find Brian's site here - and if you happen to find yourself in Brooklyn between June 3 and July 3, stop by Tara McPherson's new gallery the Cotton Candy Machine.
For those short on time and brains, this link right here will take you straight to Brian's rock poster shop - and if you can't find something you like there, all hope is lost. Your soul left the building a long, long time ago.
Meanwhile, on this side of the pond, my buddy Glen Hart is just about to unleash this little Dressed to Kill puppy onto the world. He has others there too, and I have a bad, bad feeling that this won't be the last headed my way. Check out those goodies in the market - again, if there's nothing there that catches your eye for the home office, all hope is indeed lost. It doesn't matter what your wives and girlfriends say - everybody loves a bit of Kiss pop-art in the house.
Anyway, befriend these lovely people on facebook and their other haunts, spend money at their stores instead of giving all your cash to The Man. The Man has enough now. 2011 is the year we must band together to become The New Man!
Then go and spend some money at my store - I think I'm allowed to blatantly say that as I mentioned Brian and Greg first. Those are the etiquette rules.
Which means only one thing. I'm gonna need a bigger office to put all this stuff in. So far, Terry Bradley's prints are taking up nearly all the room and with the addition of these two, once they're framed, there'll be little room for anything else.
ANIMAL MAGIC
The blue tit chicks that hatched a while back in the tree in the garden took their first trip out of the nest today. I'm not entirely sure it was voluntary though. One of them wound up sitting by itself on the lawn this morning.
Normally, the posse of farm cats that hang out around here would have made short work of it but as luck would have it, today was a good day for chicks. The chirpy little fellah got himself some rabbit muscle in the shape of Willow and Barley who sat a few feet away from him all day long until his Ma came to get him late this afternoon.
Bizarre to say the least.
•••
I started reading Daytripper this morning. I've not read an awful lot of it yet but even from the first thirty pages or so, I can tell that it's going to be one of the most important books I'll probably ever read. It does things from the very beginning that a graphic really shouldn't.
Anyway, I put it back down when I realised just how much attention I should be paying it and I'll make some time to give it the respect it so obviously deserves later in the week.
If nothing else, it's made me realise already that a graphic can be capable of so much more than I ever thought... and that's saying something believe me.
Time for a serious rethink.
•••
Meanwhile, I've been burning the midnight oil night after night here, not working but ploughing through season two of Carnivale. Why is it all the great shows get taken off air before they've had a chance to finish telling their story properly, but the shows that are full of holes and written by amateurs get to run for years on end?
I'm about three episodes from the end. Carnivale, I shall be sad to see thee finish.
And while we're talking TV, Supernatural reached its double episode season finale this week showing the world that there was good reason to keep the show running, Sherlock won a well deserved award yesterday and even more importantly so did The Killing even though those reporting from the BAFTAs saw fit to leave that out. On what grounds, I'm not sure. Maybe just in the grounds that they're shit reporters.
These are good days for TV - and good days for me!
Note to self. Stop watching so much TV and get your script finished so you can join in on the festivities next year.
RIP BROTHER...
Sigh. Macho Man Randy Savage joins the big list of wrestlers no longer with us. You can read the story here.
One final "ohhh yeah!" for the road?
A WHOLE LOTTA LOVE
What a weird week. When I got back, Eleanor had been busy taking stock of "all my shit" - which basically meant filling a lot of black bags with stuff she didn't want anymore. Inspired by this, I took a good look around the house and filled rather a few myself with absolute garbage. Where does all this stuff come from - and why is it still here? With that under the belt, I took another look around and decided that I would give at least half of my book collection away. I shipped some to my Ma, gave some to Eleanor's Dad, dropped a stack of 'read once' hardbacks in at the library and donated about 200 paperbacks to the charity store.
Anyway, now a few days have passed, I couldn't even tell you what 95% of it actually was - and there doesn't seem to be any more space than there was before either, so tomorrow I think I may repeat the exercise. It might be a little harder this time, but I've grown to quite like the idea of owning very little. Long-time readers will know that I go through this exercise reasonably often and I can thoroughly recommend it. It's very liberating not being attached to anything at all.
All of that didn't stop me from buying a copy of Daytripper - I've heard nothing but great things about this book - shall report back later... if I remember.
•••
Good observationalists will notice a new tab at the top of the page called Under The Rose. This is a little project that I've been meaning to start for a while now. It can live here for a little while and if it gets to be as big as I hope it will, I'll move it to a new home where it can fend for itself. I've also just about finished building the store - or at least I have behind the scenes. I just need to order some stock in and I'll take off the gloves and see what happens...
•••
That's about it! Can't believe it's Saturday again. Looking forward to Doctor Who this evening. Last weeks Gaiman driven episode was easily one of the best I've seen in a long time, but I'm really hopeful for this week and next (two part episode) as they're fuelled by Matthew Graham, co-creator of Life on Mars. Gaiman is probably the best novelist alive today but Life on Mars... that's a whole different ball game! Bring it!
ROAD TRIP (1,342)
Steven Moffat, Peter Jackson and Steven Spielberg? How can Tintin possibly be anything but everything it should be.
I won't be holding my breath but I will cross my fingers - this one seems to have been an eternity in the making.
I'm not entirely sure what I've been doing in the week since I last posted. An awful lot of work that's for sure - the results of which will make themselves public soon enough. I have fallen behind with my own projects though. I guess a few late nights will fix that soon enough though I'm not sure how much later I can get without just running 24/7 all the time.
•••
Back on the Virgin Express again today. I wonder if somebody has ever knocked up a graph that shows exactly how much creative writing gets done on a train. There are lots of people with id cards on strings on board today - this must be in case they forget who they are. The Man always likes to remind the automatons of their place.
I had the opportunity to sit down with a very clued in somebody today and spent some time figuring out exactly how much work Facebook could do for a project. Quite a lot apparently if you get it right. I even considered for a moment resurrecting my Zodiac Lung page over there but instead came across an cross-bred app that goes by the name of Networked Blogs that hooks into Facebook pretty seamlessly as far as I can tell. Let's see exactly how syndicated and networked we can get. So far so good.
•••
A few months back, I bought this great "road bag" from Scaramanga. Cost me a fair few crispy ones too but I love it. It had to be big enough to cater for a weekend trip so I opted for the larger option of those available. It's getting good and battered now but damn, for a shoulder bag affair, it's freaking heavy. I thought I had really crunched down on the amount of stuff I had packed this time, but it seemed just as heavy as ever. I guess a MacBook and an external hard drive with all of their associated power cables and leads mount up. Throw in a book and some pens and I've not really cut down on very much at all.
So, the question is, how do I cut down on what is already a minimised amount of essentials.
Given that when I'm away, I don't really ever do heavy duty InDesign or Photoshop work, maybe an ipad with a dump into a dropbox account is the answer. Or, could I actually get away with just working on the iphone? Maybe that's a bit extreme. Possible, but extreme. Maybe I'll give it a try next time. What would be really helpful is if the train carriages were packed with USB sockets for charging stuff up - somebody really needs to get that into development.
AN EXTRAORDINARY SEQUENCE OF EVENTS
Have you ever really wondered about how coincidence works. Some think a coincidence is just that. Simply coincidence. Others - me included - may rather think it something more. What kind of writer would be happy with coincidence simply being a random pairing of events? Anyway - when I do my days in the office, I get to stay with my Ma. Once a month is far better than once every three years which is what she used to get before.
Anyway, there I am on the train (see yesterday's post) tidying up and collating all the notes I'd written for my Doctor Who script, when a thought struck me. I should probably gather together all of my favourite Doctor Who episodes and watch them again just to get into the flow of what I think are the greatest parts of the rebooted series so far.
This amounts to about ten episodes. The first couple are easy. Family of Blood/Human Nature and Blink, but I bought those when they came out and so far, is the only Who DVD that I own. The others would be - in no particular order - Rose, The Girl In The Fireplace, Parting of the Ways and The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances. There's a few others for sure but those are the handful that I would consider essential re-viewing items.
OK - eight. It was close enough.
So, it was kind of odd - never mind "coincidence" - when I walk into my Ma's house and find this little stack of Doctor Who DVDs on the stairs. Between them, they contain all of the episodes mentioned above. They belong to my little sister Lucy who has Down's Syndrome (which is only relevant to illustrate the fact that she's obsessive about Doctor Who, Buffy and James Bond) and at 32 is not so little any more either. Apparently she decided she just didn't want these ones anymore.
Not the other 40 odd Doctor Who discs she could have chosen from in her vast collection of "stuff". These five.
That, my friends, is truly bizarre. However, she might change her mind at any given moment, so tired as I am, I thought I'd best stay up for a little while and rip 'em to my hard drive while opportunity is here. That's a gift horse with its mouth wide open anyway you choose to slice it.
CARNAGE IN COACH D
Discovered this evening that if you sit close to the first class carriages on Virgin trains, you can get free WiFi. Not economy WiFi either. Proper able to do stuff WiFi. Trains are always an excellent source of amusement. Sitting behind me is a woman with two kids who are getting their five-a-day for sure! One Big Mac and fries with extra cheese, one jumbo bag of astro belts, one family size bottle of cola, one slap to the back of the legs (now illegal - apparently - but this evening more than justified. Everybody in this carriage agrees with me) and one hour of sleep. Are the ten-ton fiery neon signs dropping from the skies not visible enough?
I only noticed this because the album finished on my ipod. At first I thought everybody was pissed at me for having it too loud (has been known), but there's no way they can hear me over the carnage in Coach D.
EVERY LITTLE HELPS...
There's nobody here for me to talk to, so blog will have to suffice. Last Friday, Rhiannon locked herself out of her phone by tossing around with the pin number lock. Dumb for sure, but you live and learn. Now, her phone says is PUK Locked. I spoke to the guys at "customer support" last night and they said I needed to get a new SIM and then they would switch over her balance to the new SIM and all would be well.
Tesco. Awesome. Every little helps.
Except, at 20 pence a minute today, they tell me that unless I can tell them - for security reasons - how much credit she had left, they can do nothing. I tell them "hey - the phone is locked up, so I can't get in the phone to ask it and tell you..."
Several people from Monkey Call Centre girl right up to Mr Shiny Suit tell me that this is data protection and for my own good. I say that I can tell them almost all the phone numbers she will have called in the last two years, I can even read out any text messages that have been sent, list all her favourite numbers attached to the clubcard that's tied to the phone number - in fact, I can do anything but ask the SIM - that's locked in case you didn't hear me - what it's damned balance is.
"I'm sorry Sir - you must have an idea what balance is on the phone. It will tell you after each call how much is left."
"I'm sorry Mr Shiny Suit. She's ten years old. She knows when Doctor Who is on but that's about all the attention the world is given right now. Do I have any other options?"
"I'm sorry Sir - you must have an idea what balance is on the phone. It will tell you after each call how much is left."
Did he really just say that to me twice or was it just a recording.
"Dude - you're telling me that it's game over?" At which point I lost it a bit and dug deep into my bag of Dee Snider's best and paired up some choice sentences containing the words: fucker, the slightly more expansive motherfucker and cocksucker. Not in that particular order and I may have added some nouns as well. I forget now.
So. That's that then. I shall insert a new SIM card. I shall give her a new number. I'll top it up with some more credit and she will be happy again and move on. I shall stay with Tesco for her phone simply because the triple your credit thing goes a hell of a long way with a ten year old.
Me? Ahh... I am slightly older. Slightly more pissed off about this than she is. I appreciate their data protection but customer service is a two way street, yes? Don't you just hate it when a company has far too many good offers on the go to dump them totally?
What I have lost here? Maybe twenty quid and half an hour of my time? Is it worth fighting about? Is it worth knocking over a big display stand in-store and walking away so that they have to clean it up and waste their time?
Monkey Call Centre Girl: I'm sorry you did a degree and then got reduced to whoring yourself to The Man. Things will get better.
Mr Shiny Suit. I'm sorry I spoke to you like a piece of shit. I know you're only doing your job. I'm also sorry that you probably had to buy your suit in Top Man because you get paid £3 an hour even though you too have a degree. Now you're a manager, things won't get better at all I'm afraid. This is it for you. You are in The System. You are The Man.
Looking at the big picture, how does anybody with self respect allow themselves to work in a call centre? Any call centre!
Selling heroin to bullfrogs holds more self worth and it probably pays better too.
Fuckers.
