Six things I'd like to be/do when I grow up:

1. An MI6 agent. International espionage? Clandestine liaisons in smoky bars and coffee shops? Count me in. Umm... MI6, if you happen to call, please don't withhold your number, I tend to ignore them because it's usually Radio 5 wanting something I don't want to give and that would be a real shame.

2. The owner of Ninth Gate Books. An elite bookshop - obviously. Here, you could get coffee but it would be from a jar and a kettle. Ninth Gate Books will not necessarily sell the books you're looking for but it will sell books you will be pleased you bought. Sometimes, there will be author talks at 3am at which we will draw straws for a 'volunteer' to drive to the all night garage for snacks. People like Alan Moore and the ghost of Raymond Carver may stop by unannounced. Neither will be excluded from the snack run.

3. Jacques Cousteau. Man, the things people used to find to do with themselves before TV and smartphones interrupted our lives. A hero worth having and somebody absolutely worth wanting to be. Check out the Cousteau project to plant 1,400,000 trees on Easter Island here.

4. Doctor Who/Gandalf. I don't think this needs any further explanation. Either would be quite acceptable.

5. TV Talk Show Host. In which people are brought to your attention who are actually great at the things they do as opposed to marketed as such. Ideally, we would be rewinding back to the days when there were only three channels for this scenario to ensure viewing figures of at least twelve million simply because there's nothing else to watch. I can hear what you're saying - why not do it on YouTube? And you would be right but I think I would struggle getting my wishlist co-host of Catherine Zeta-Jones.

6. The Man Who Really Did Discover The Loch Ness Monster. I would leave her right where I found her and not say a word to anybody. Chances of looking quite annoyingly smug now and again? Quite high.