Welcome to a new series of special interest articles in which I look at different ways to slow down and sabotage your writing process. In this first instalment, let's take a look at slicing your pen-holding finger down to the bone right on the knuckle.

I found this very effective for slowing down almost everything in fact. Opening doors, driving, taking Hector out - you name it, it's now slow done slowly and awkwardly. I found the best way to inflict this was by opening a tin of rice pudding - old school with a tin opener. It's actually very easy. One little slip and you're done. If you're smart about it, you won't even know it until the blood starts spurting out and you can see a part of your skeleton you're not normally privileged with.

In a word: ouch.

Don't hold your breath over the next instalment in this series. I'm hoping it will be a good number of years before I have to write another one.