The Love Reaction Revolution

It's my first proper day driving the Skin Deep tank today. Shoot - if I thought I was busy before, I didn't know what I was talking about but that's maybe because I need to squeeze three weeks into one. Anyway, so far so good and all going according to plan.

What can I tell you without blowing the whole shooting match? Earlier today, I had cause to make a phone call to Mark Manning - yeah, that Mark Manning... the Zodiac Mindwarp Mark Manning. I'm working on a new short feature called "The Back Piece" which is some irreverent questions either about tattooing or people with tattoos who are pretty well known for having them. How could I resist calling on the original tattooed beat messiah for some wise words? Actually his words were a lot wiser than mine at the end of the day, but who else could I have a conversation with about Loki, Odin, Latin and whether or not rock stars should ride horses? For those thoroughly not paying attention, there's a new album out soon - We Are Volsung - and it's good. Real good.

I finally got a hold of Chuck Klosterman's Eating The Dinosaur yesterday - well, Eleanor got it for me as a leaving present from "other job". They probably all thought she'd lost it a bit, but there's no point in having a leaving present that you hate and bitch about. Not only that, there was also a replacement for the Kiss mug I smashed the handle off one morning and a copy of that very sexy Doctor Who notebook... the one that River carries around with her - very cool it is too, complete with text and drawings. There's a lesson in here somewhere for everybody. If you're on the move, make sure somebody that likes you is in charge of getting your leaving present...

Finally, for now, I picked the old Saab up from the first service it's had in years yesterday - only to find that there's nothing wrong with it all that a bit of a rub down didn't cure, but the garage guys had also put new number plates on it for no reason at all. Is this normal behaviour for car servicing? I've never known that before. I thought they might have smashed one by accident but they're new on front and back. Curious but a nice thing to do... it didn't go unnoticed.

Smoke and Mirrors get in your eyes

I took the girls to see The Last Airbender yesterday - a snap decision as we were originally going for The Sorcerer's Apprecntice but I don't think any of us could take yet another Nicholas Cage paint by nuumbers project. The initial reviews were bad - but then, the initial reviews of Lady in the Water, The Village and The Knowing have all been dreadful but I've really rated all of them.

Seems to be that the aforementioned critics have a really blunt axe to grind. Maybe they got fooled by Sixth Sense. Maybe they simply didn't get Unbreakable. Was Signs too much to bear? Like Hitchcock, Shyamalan is a genius storyteller. Fact. Critics appear to be waiting for his movies to come out only to slate them now for not having diabolical twists when the man is only trying to tell a great story. Tell me, what's not totally fantastic about The Village?

Anyway, nice job on translating an awkward sprawling animated series into something coherent. It's not too sfx heavy and I have to say, this is maybe the only 3D movie I've ever been to see where the 3D didn't annoy the hell out of me. If I have a gripe it's that my options to see a movie in good old 2D are becoming extremely limited these days. 3D as a general rule of thumb, sucks. Stop it now. 

For more televisual treats, forget Granma's House that (the same?) critics are dribbling about. Instead, check out Pete Vs The World and VEXED which are both far superior.

Things accomplished in fiction:

I'm a hair's breadth away from finishing up The Ballad of the Goat Faced Boy. Is it good? Yeah - it slays. Really looking forward to seeing what Dennis makes of it. We're behind schedule but hey, I guess nobody is expecting it yet. As Morrisson once said, "How can you be late for your own show?" BROKEN continues to shape up despite both of us being incredibly busy. Check out the sketch.

Things accomplished in real life:

Lots of tattoo magazine related items - no surprise there. More than pleasantly surprised to find most professionals are wise to the fact that submitting images in a high resolution format greatly increases your chances of being worked with. You'd think that this was common knowledge these days but apparently not. Other industries: get your shit together. 

Also going to book the car in for a service later today. Maybe, just maybe, I'll hand it over to some trained professionals to clean it inside and out as well. It is, quite frankly, a dirty beast of a thing right now.

One stormy night...

...the wind from hell swept in from the Channel and totally wiped out my WiFi connection - which in turn meant I couldn't post the Holmes story. So apologies to anybody that was following it and even further apologies as I'm going to kill the project as of today. Reason? Well, I got to the end of the story and found I actually had rather a lot to say. Enough to make it into a decent short story - a decent long short story even. This is a good thing.
More later today...

The Big Bang

Sheesh. Where to start? At the beginning is always a good place. As of this past weekend, I find myself the editor of Skin Deep, not only the biggest selling tattoo magazine in the UK, but also the best. Make of that what you will but I'm really stoked about it. It's good to be back on the shelf (now there's a bad turn of phrase) after such a long time and I hope I can bring something new to the table that everybody will get into.

In the coming weeks, that will have its own blog, so I probably won't touch on it too much here unless there's a nice big juicy cross-over... like the news that the Tattooed Beat Messiah himself - Zodiac Mindwarp - has just signed a new deal with an album in the pipeline. That big enough for you? Anyway, I'll let you know where that blog will be and also the facebook, twitter and other assorted paraphernalia that goes along with it.

Meantime, Mr Bevan is making some great headway with Broken. This is coming along just fine. I can't wait to get this one out and about. I'll be posting some of the initial sketches tomorrow.

And talking of getting things out and about, yesterday I finally got around to publishing Gelert: The Faithful Hound. For those of you who don't immediately know what it's about, it's a retelling of an old Welsh myth/legend and so happens to be the first story I was ever told. It's still sad now. You can read that in the digital bookstore here. See what you think. Artwork of course by the inimitable Charlotte Rose.

Things accomplished in real life: Started looking at the editorial and design direction for Skin Deep and noting down some ideas. Man, they just keep on coming. Seriously looked at the Great Dane Rescue website and am pondering the logisitcs of taking on a monster dog. Note to self: get car serviced. Soon. Really soon. You're gonna be on the road somewhat...

Things accomplished in fiction: Nothing whatsoever today - I've kind of got my mind inside re-engineering a magazine. Wait! That's not true. I filled a few notebook pages with the beginnings of a new Kang story by murdering somebody from a great height quite nastily. That counts, right?

When Lightning Strikes...

Things accomplished in real life: Mr Smith has a new job and is very excited about it. Official announcement soon - if the grapevine doesn't get to you first!

Road Trip!

For your amusement, please allow me to share my venn diagram with you. This is what happens when you help your kids with their homework.

I love a good road trip. This weekend it's up to North Wales - if you're following this on lame-ass facebook that doesn't feed it through for 24 hours, I'm already there. In fact, I leave in about 3 hours. Whether or not there will be time for posting while I'm gone is another matter.

I've even managed to clear the desk of everything outstanding apart from the last few "chapters" of the Sherlock Holmes story. Technically speaking, I could do that when I get back as those parts aren't due until August 27 but more importantly than that, I must remember to take it with me as August 1 is Sunday. Again, technically speaking I could do it when I get back but if I don't do it first thing in the morning, I'll probably forget.

Talking of twitter accounts, I had a look at some of my settings today and worked out that by the end of the weekend, taking into account my PR efforts for The Case of the Dead Messenger, I should be scoring well over 200 following the story. I kind of thought that wasn't bad until I got curious and flipped over to Neil Gaiman's feed and saw that he has over a million and a half hanging on his every word. Given that he's got a few more years in the field than I and um, that he's very good maybe I should give myself some time with this.

I'm not actually that big a fan of twitter but it serves a purpose and I have no doubt whatsoever that if you were sitting around a table with HarperCollins and were able to say "Yes, I have a quarter of a million people on my mailing list" - which is effectively all it is - you'd be in a far better position than if you were starting from scratch. On the other hand, if I go down the self publishing route, a quarter of a million people is music to my ears as well.

Shit, 200 people is more than I had on the list two months ago, but I'd still rather all of those people signed up to my RSS feed so I had some modicum of control over it. If twitter went bust (it happens), you basically lose one of your mailing lists.

Anyway... back to StrutterRadio... 

Dog Day Afternoon

Have you ever been really close to the edge of something awesome only to find your brain couldn’t navigate its way around the finer points of it? That’s where I am tonight. I am so close to finishing Fox On The Run but in the time that’s still available to enter it, I don’t think I’m going to do it justice. Fear not though, I said to myself. You already have a completed script – why not dig that out and enter that instead. At least you won’t be cross at yourself for the rest of your life, and besides, this one has been edited to within an inch of its life.

So that’s what I did. I dug out Too Hot For Dogs (the screenplay version, not the comic book – they are very different animals) and I’ve spent hours on end making sure that it’s just “so”. I’ve always thought it was a really good script anyway, so I have no qualms at all about shipping her off to a potential new home. This turns out to be a great idea because as 2H4D gets shipped out tomorrow morning, I can turn my attention to The Case of the Dead Messenger and make that about as good as it can be. Then I can finish off Fox On The Run knowing I didn’t do it an injustice by rushing it in the wrong direction.

Thus from the jaws of death I have rescued the week. Oh, there are lots of things that have gone on in the last seven days that you will be mightily surprised at in the long-run but alas, I am sworn to secrecy. I think that’s one of the signs that you’re getting somewhere – when you’re not supposed to tell anybody what you’re doing. And that’s fine with me. A) it stops me from looking stupid, B) it sounds quite mysterious and C) I feel a whole lot better about not posting because I’ve been working on “very important things”... but we’ll see about that later.

A quick catch-up on some other things whilst this particular piece of paper has my attention. I have more books to read than I know what to do with as usual. Maybe I should stop looking for them but they keep mounting up – and in the most curious of places as well. The Passage is still captivating me. It’s so big and I have so little time this week that I’ve had to switch to the audio book version of it and listen to it in the car or in bed. On the music front this week, if anybody is looking out for something hot to listen to, the new Switchfoot album – Hello Hurricane - is damned good. Did I say that in a previous post? I may have...

Things accomplished in fiction: If I’m going to keep this up I’m going to have to stop talking about it in the bit before, but I did set two men in a graveyard with one telling the other to start digging. I’m not quite sure exactly what it is that they’re digging for though. It will come...

Things accomplished in real life: Made a list of a stack of people I needed to email this morning and actually got through the whole list by the end of the day. Miracle. That never happens. Also remembered to give Johnson a jolt about submitting his script as well. That’s one in the plus column for me I think.

Other: I might have to stop this “other” part. What exactly could it contain that doesn’t fall into the two categories above? I suppose I could write that I was so tired this evening that I actually sat down and watched Holby City for the first time in maybe 20 years. Do I really want to be admitting that sort of thing?

The Case of the Dancing Man

I have been humbled into working much, much harder. If you didn't watch Sherlock last night (iPlayer link here) - then you missed what is possibly the best piece of television written in the last 20 years. Yeah, even better than any of the Doctor Who episodes since relaunch too. That was one seriously well thought out, fun hour and a half. I won't drag it out. In fact I won't say another word but if you have any interest in Sherlock Holmes or writing for TV - or even if you're just a waste of space on the planet looking for something to do - spend the time. Which is all very nice as my Sherlock story, The Dead Messenger is gathering momentum for its launch in five days.

Charlotte and I (how's that for good English) have also finished up our latest graphic short. I'll be loading that up to the digital store in a couple of days or so once I've put the finishing touches to the production end of things. It's very different to The Fire Sermon but whether we've made a good old Celtic story better than it was before, only time will tell.

Meanwhile, back in the jungle, Dennis has been out with his camera taking pictures in Wolverhampton for Broken. I'm officially done with the script for this first issue and have moved on to the second issue. (Dennis, if you're reading, this will be the first you've heard of it but I'll have it over to you this evening).

That's almost too much positivity to handle, but on yet another positive note, I've posted more than Neil Gaiman this month. I rock.

Things accomplished in fiction: more than in recent weeks shall we say.

Things accomplished in real life: Ah - now that would be telling a little too much at this point in time but there is a smile on my face.

Other: Found a brand spanking new box set of all five Planet of the Apes movies today for £1! Good work Mr Smith. Have been told I can watch them by myself, very late at night.

Hymn of A Speed King

Phew - it's a hot one again. 'They' promised rain but no rain came which kind of makes the ark I've been building in the garden somewhat redundant.

With Broken and other manageable items under control, the remainder of the week will be taken up with finishing the script for Fox On The Run. How good is it? It's really good if I say so myself. I'm hoping for great things, but then isn't that what I always do? Also making some smart headway with Sherlock Holmes: The Dead Messenger but I haven't done any PR for that at all yet. I'm hoping the new Sherlock series about to start this coming Sunday will give it a jolt in the arm. It looks fantastic - Moffatt and Gatiss, I hate you, you pair of bastards...

I really like the way that Cherie Priest finishes up her blog posts with these three headers below to wind everything up, so I figured I would give it shot:

Things accomplished in fiction: I killed a dog, but it's OK really because he's been dead for a long time anyway and the story wouldn't really work if he wasn't. Also created a demon - who may be an angel - or may not exist at all. Either way, that's issue zero of Broken 99% in the can for a first draft and I'm uber-pleased.

Things accomplished in real life: Wrote a scathing blog post for Ida at ISLPR about what a heap of junk that Empire State Of Mind song is. Read it here.

Other: As a Kiss-head, I'm fired up to have discovered Strutter Radio via iTunes. There's songs on here that I haven't played in an eternity. I thought it would be dull after a day or so but I'm on day three and I ain't fallen off the wagon yet. When was the last time you heard Radioactive - demonic intro and all? Enjoying immensely The Passage, a real monster summer read. Checked Premier Inn website for a room over the BICS period in Birmingham - and then decided maybe it would be easier simply to do a single day and then go home.

Bleeding, Broken and a Black Feather Boa

Buckle up Mr Smith. Things have gone from 0 to 60 in mere seconds - and it feels great!

A word on the event known as 'the funeral' first: Sad though they may be - this one particularly so for me - it's always fantastic to catch-up with all the family members that I haven't seen since the last funeral we all attended. Please try to stay in touch. I miss you guys!

Anyway, apart from talking myself into promising I would perform three T.Rex songs dressed in full on Bolan regalia at somebody's birthday party next June, things are going pretty well. Hot Love? Telegram Sam? Ride A White Swan? I seem to recall that they're all more or less the same song aren't they?

Over in the world of words and pictures, Dennis and I have begun the uber-cool project now known as BROKEN. Watch out for its own page tab at  the top of the blog here which will reveal some back-story and also some of the preliminary sketches. I'm really stoked about this - if we can pull it off, it could open some big bad-ass doors... and if I can talk Dennis into illustrating The Goat-Faced Boy, I'll be rolling around like a pig in sticky mud all weekend.

For those in the vicinity, we're hoping to launch BROKEN at the Wrexham Comic Con in September. Come along.

That's enough from me for now. I'm on a mission to get all of these things I've been working on released before the end of the year. Tall order but definitely possible. Good thing there's nothing good on TV for a couple of months.

Currently listening to: Cracker - Low
Currently reading: Justin Cronin - The Passage
Currently watching: Blood pressure.

Dark Knight of the Soul...

Where was I... oh yeah... climbing a mountain to steal a crown.

First, thanks to everybody who sent mucho kind words about recent loss of my grandmother. I thought I would have a lot to say about it - I normally do - but I guess some things are still sacred...

Excellent news this week as I hook up with a massively talented artist called Dennis Bevan. You can find examples of his work here. We're going to be working on some new projects together and although we've yet to iron out exactly what they are, I'm just about as excited as I get about it. Dare I write a Batman story?

Other excellent news this week sees The Fire Sermon tipping over 20,000 readers and all other stories at the digital bookstore climb, climb, climbing. Would it be over-optimistic of me to think 40,000 on The Fire Sermon would be possible by Christmas? I don't think so. With more graphic shorts on the horizon, I'm really pleased (and bloody thankful to everybody that likes it) that it's a successful as it is.

In other scraps, the TV screenplay Fox On The Run is approaching the end of its first draft, my second Inspector Kang short - The Moon Upstairs - is also muscling onwards, although Kang himself seems to be going through some serious changes in his character and personality. There's a whole bunch of other stuff in the wing mirrors as well but some objects may appear closer than others and all that...

As a parting shot, if anybody is looking for a summer read that will really will last all summer, try Justin Cronin's The Passage. For once, everything 'they' are saying about it is true. That is one seriously well written novel.

The Case of the Dead Messenger

After the relative success of I, Wendigo as the first ever horror "novel" to be published via twitter, I'm going for it again, this time with the altogether more commercially viable - and handily out of copyright - Sherlock Holmes.

As before, The Case of the Dead Messenger will be published at the rate of a "chapter" a day throughout August 2010. If I double the head count on what was achieved with I, Wendigo then I'll be more than happy.

I'm about half way through writing it and as is only fitting for the 21st century, I'll be bringing in some characters that have previously only sat in the background. Anyway, order of the day now is to get the PR machine rolling. If anybody can help out and/or wants to host the banner - feel free to download it from here and link it to www.twitter.com/zodiaclung

That ought to keep me out of trouble for a few weeks at least...

God's Top Ten

Ah crap. The blog police have caught me napping. Only I wasn't napping really. Was dealing with something truly horrible. My grandmother died yesterday morning and even though we all saw it coming for weeks on end (and God love my mother... months), it still sucks.

There will probably be plenty on human morailty here in the next few days but I feel I must clear the decks as well.

I'm waiting on a reply from a rather talented somebody that may change all of the rules of the game today. Sorry - make that The Game. While I wait, I have surrounded myself with more notebooks than Paperchase in a truly valiant attempt to get three projects finished in the next 12 days. One of them actually has a deadline of tomorrow and even though I'm an eternal optimist at heart, I have to admit I'm struggling a little to meet that one in the face of recent events. I think I will finish it in my own time and take the lid off the pressure cooker for a little while.

So - all is well even though all is unwell. Normal service will resume shortly.

Hair, deadlines and the other Mister Smith...

Spent yesterday in The Smoke doing "some stuff" which was the culmination of "stuff I was doing before", so today, as I gather my senses to press on with "real stuff", I find I have about ten days before a whole bunch of deadlines kick in. Before I start though, some nice bloke with a camera to hand took a decent picture of me whilst in The Smoke - so for everybody that wanted to see the shorn version of hair, this is as good as it gets. Suit. Tie. Slight air of prefessionalism... and said hair straightened to within an inch of its life just in case it decided to misbehaveduring the day. Curly unruliness has already resumed.

Anyway, first out of the deadline trap would be the childrens book I've been working on with my friend Emma. This one is a self imposed deadline and therefore moveable in theory but I don't want to. I think if I start moving stuff about, it will lead to all sorts of implications later on. Meet the new me. Same as the old me... but different. I'm actually pretty close to the end of that anyway - a few tweaks and then back to the start for some heavy editing and it will be away.

There's a couple of competition entries kicking around with brick walls at the end of the month too. One is for the Bridport Prize which I'd really like to smack on the head this year. Last year, I mailed in an entry in the poetry category. I'm absolutely convinced it was the darkest poem ever written by a human being but maybe too dark for that sort of audience, so this year, I've taken the opportunity to use it as a deadline to finish up the next Inspector Kang story, The Moon Upstairs. This is number two in the series - anybody interested in previously mentioned dark poem can find it in the forthcoming "Palm Trees..." release.

Also on the cards is a comp that Waterstones are running - rather than have two Kang shorts running at the same time, I thought I would throw The Run-Along Man Sells Spoons into the mixer.

Quite possibly the weirdest story I've written so far - but you wouldn't know that would you because I've never put any of the others out have I? All will change over the next couple of months - more on this in a few weeks.

Finally, there's a TV screenplay going out to play somewhere nice in the next couple of weeks. It's working title is Fox On The Run and that's all I can say at the moment. I hope it keeps that title for its entire lifespan. I can't imagine it ever being called anything else but I guess its not very professional to become too attached to nuances like that. There's a whole bunch of other stuff as well but I'm feeling a bit under pressure now, so over the next couple of weeks expect rather a lot of head-emptying nonsense instead of real stuff.

Yeah, I know... that's how everyone prefers it.

In closing, been reading and chatting to some people about the forthcoming Doctor Who series finale. Word on the street is that the next two episodes are Moffat at his very best and when it's over, you'll want to watch the whole series again from the beginning and you won't believe that you could have been so stupid as to no notive all of its nuances... that's what I hear anyway. I wonder if it has anything to do with the repeated references in EVERY EPISODE to nursey rhymes - or is it just me that's noticed that?

The Doctor

Say what you like about the new series of Doctor Who - this is a great magazine cover. It might even be worth buying - apparently, there's a mini interview with Christopher Eccleston on why he jumped after the first series.

All creatures great...

We all have them. Those days when you think nothing happens - but this is not true. Something of value happens every single day. More than likely, you're just looking at the world wrong if you don't know this.

Stand-up comics are probably the masters of surveying the minutae and making something from it, but it's something that everybody should at least try and do - even if you're shit at it. If you sitting there thinking, hey it's alright for you - you don't have this or that shit to deal with, fuck you. We all have a cross to bear. Life sucks. Deal with it. I can look at the first six numbers in my phone and show you more shit than you could ever want on your plate.

Anyway, this morning - pretty much while I was asleep at the wheel - a creature ran across the road in front of car, prompting me to get very excited and shout, "look at the size of that bloody rabbit!". The rabbits in the fields around the house are tiny, but that's only because I'm so used to the size of Willow and Barley now. The wild rabbits are probably quite normally sized really.

It took me more than a few moments to realise that it was actually a hare than ran out. I've never seen one before - not in the flesh. I knew they were big but this old bugger was impressive! This was closely followed seconds later by a near collision with a beautiful woodpecker - the spotted variety. Brilliant.

These two little things put me in a great mood considering it was eight in the morning and topped up on yesterday's event when we saw Rhiannon's friend with her dog Izzy - a freaking huge Briard. That also put me in a great mood. She's a lovely dog and I want one.

The fact that Doctor Who finally came up with an episode worth staying in for was an addded bonus this weekend - I had very nearly lost all faith. It's been like watching a pretend Doctor for weeks on end. They really needed to have cracked that Pandorica open right at the beginning... and football? Screw the football. I watched it and it was dull as hell. About as inspiring as... well, the last time I watched them play. Animals: 1 - Sport: 0.

I felt the need to go out and hire The Wolfman yesterday afternoon - and now I wish I hadn't bothered. Blah, blah, wolf, blah, blah, silver bullets, blah blah, special fx... almost as dull as the football. I backed this up witha second rental which I haven't watched yet - Solomon Kane. The tagline is "fight evil... with evil" - I'm looking forward to this. You just know it's going to be great for all the right reasons...

Will add some pictures later if one wishes to come back...

Pop is eating itself

I tried to order a copy of Chuck Klosterman's Eating The Dinosaur yesterday from Waterstones. Everybody who reads stuff here at ZL needs to read Fargo Rock City by the man. It is, beyond any shadow of doubt, the best book about growing up a metal-head in the 80's ever written - or at least until Almost Human is finished. Bit of wishful thinking on my behalf there...

Anyway, he's written a fair few books now - all worthy of actually paying for and Dinosaur is his latest, but it's incredibly odd (or maybe I mean shit) that it will take three weeks for Waterstones to get this book in for me.

Let's square this up, Chuck Klosterman is the premier pop-culture writer on the face of the planet right now and that's not only my opinion. I can't buy his book anywhere off the shelf and I care about this stuff - so how is anybody supposed to get involved as a casual buyer? The answer is, you can't. In hardback, paperback or as an ebook that I can read RIGHT NOW that I would PAY FOR - I can't get it and therefore, I don't get it. I can actually get it on amazon, but I was in the mood to buy it there and then - and what casual browser has ever really discovered a chance purchase by scrolling through pages and pages at amazon?

Maybe it says more about the Waterstones system than Klosterman's publisher - but there are still lessons to be had here.

Seems to me that Klosterman would actually be more successful by self publishing and taking care of the distribution himself via some third-party web application - except I rather suspect he's too stoned to care, hence general lack of website or blog.

Note to self: don't get caught in the trap of ever thinking you - or any company that works with/for you - can coast it. You can't. Somebody will come up behind you steal your crown and beat your face into the dirt. I suppose this largely depends on whether you take the Keith Richards mentality of "fuck it, I'll just show up and do what I do best" or the Gene Simmons route, which is "let's do this bigger and better than the next guy - and then set fire to it - and then tell the world and his sister." Me? I think we know which camp I'm in.

Talking of which, my buddy Ray Van Horn out in Baltimore is going through the same shit-kicking bleakness that is hanging up your gloves in the music business that I went through. It's hard trying to do the right thing by bands you love simply because it doesn't pay - and like he said to me yesterday, all the great writers are getting canned/caned in favour of writers who will play "the game". It sucks but it's the way it is and it takes a wise man to know when he gets to that point. One of the prices you pay for having other "responsibilities" I guess. Heads up bro! For what it's worth, his recent blogpost on Destroyer is a classic.

I had an idea...

..and this morning I have had to bin the idea. It's almost (but not quite) the equivalent of Kiss sitting around for the weekend thinking up their plans for world domination only to wake up on Monday morning to find that the New York Dolls have done it.

Actually, it's nothing like that at all, but if I may explain: first, you need to know that I chew up crime novels at a frightening speed. There's not many authors that I haven't read and formed an opinion on. One of the biggest holes in my crime author knowledge has always been Peter James, which this weekend I decided to put right. I went out and bought his first Detective Superintendent Roy Grace novel - Dead Simple. It's good. Real good.

And then I discovered the ten ton heavy thing hiding behind the door.

See, I always knew that for D.I. Kang to work as a fantastically rounded character, he had to be damaged in some way, so I damaged him in the most severe way I could think of.

I took away his beloved. Just made her disappear and left him not knowing if she was alive or dead. She was just gone. I've sat on this for a good couple of years now while I've built my backstory and (as you'll have noticed) finally gotten around to pushing out some short stories to bring him to life in the world.

So you can probably imagine the crushing pain I felt last night when I got to the bit (quite early on in the book) where I learn that this is how Grace is damaged. His wife is just gone - and long enough to have her declared legally dead too. That was something I was saving up!

So:

a) I'm really glad the concept works! James has written a stack of Grace novels and he's a damn fine writer as well (I had read some of his other books, just not these D.S. Grace novels).
b) I'm really fucking glad I found out now! Imagine going to an agent/publisher with that one. Pride comes before a fall and all that.
c) It crossed my mind to get in touch with James to see if she had ever been found (I'll obviously get around to this as I go through the novels so no spoilers please) - and if she hadn't, maybe I could twist my Kang story and he could be married to her as well!
d) Better still, maybe she ran away from Grace, then ran away with Kang and is now shacked up with Billingham's Tom Thorne. The ultimate bigamy trail. As a reader and a big fan of crime fiction, I'd think that would be brilliant fun.

Anyway, now I'm left with a hole in my detective's life. Last night I was cross, but hey, these thing happen however unlikely it may seem. I had to read it twice to make sure I hadn't got hold of the wrong end of the stick.

Today, I have found bigger and better ways in which to damage D.I. Kang. He won't thank me for any of it, but readers might.

Mr James, it's been a pleasure working with you - albeit anonymously.

Storm in a Headcup

I'm having a quiet day today. Delivering a small child safely to Brownie camp and carrying heavy boxes around for Eleanor is about my limit. Today, will be a thinking day. Put things in order. Figure out what projects to do next and what needs doing urgently.

It won't last though. It never does. As soon as I've made said mental list, I'll be all guns blazing again and spinning my wheels. I will take this opportunity to clear a bunch of stuff from my phone. 

This weird thing - which I actually considered buying, is an old chest of drawers that's been very cleverly laminated with Marvel Comics images. The photo doesn't really do it justice because I had to secretly take it and I see now that my camera has rather a lot of dust in the lens - but still... it's a nice piece of work, if you like that sort of thing.

Now I look at it again, it's bloody horrible. Maybe it would be good if somebody could do this to a vintage set of wheels. Then we'd be talking!

Talking of which - later that same day:

In the car park there was this old sod. I do love these old things. They have a style and class all of their own and are a million light years away from the pieces of shit that bear the badge today. Things may have moved on in the technology and safety stakes, but we're going backwards when it comes to design. One day, when I get me some money....

Not waiting for an Alibi any longer...

The results of the Alibi/Theakstons crime story were (eventually) announced this morning. Was I one of the chosen ones? No. Will I get more people to read my story than any of these people? Yes. Apply some pressure to the graphic on the left there and it's all yours. I'd give up on entering any of these comps but the deadlines are really useful for getting me to finish things.

Taking a superficial glance over the three shortlisted tales, one of them looks pretty good and two of them look... well, just OK. That's not rotten apples at all, just the truth. One of them seems to have taken half of the entire allowed word count and used 'fuck' like it's going out of fashion. Do you know how hard it was not to use it at all! No - you have no fucking idea at all...

Anyway, congratulations to whoever the winner will be at the end - I've lost interest now and am only concerned with getting Shouting and Pointing in front of as many people as I can. See you on the other side guys...

This week has also seen some in-roads into a couple of new projects. The first is a "proper" children's book (as opposed to a book that I would normally write to scare them), that I'll hopefully be working on with Emma. It's an absolute mess of ideas at the moment, so the rest of the week will be spent tidying the damn thing up until it finally looks like something workable. I'm toying with the idea that I might have to work under a pseudonym for this one... and no, before anybody pitches in, I don't need any help on that front. I'm talking to you Johnson!

The Green Children is also powering away at being very cool. I'm probably miles away from finishing it though. The deeper I get into its forest, the more I have to go back and rewrite. Such is the nature of screenwriting I guess.

I've also remembered that I said I'd publish I,Wendigo in its entirety today, so you can now grab that as well over at the digital store - or just click on the graphic 'over there'.

What else have I found? Well, there's these two great Doctor Who posters. I have no idea where they came from but if the owner happens to pass by, let me know. Be only to happy to give you a big smile and buy you a chocolate bar.

Currently listening to: Crash Karma
Currenly reading: Pretty Monsters - Kelly Link
Currently watching: Time slip away