Snatchers? That will never make a good Doctor Who type of phrase. Snatching at time suggests that all you can steal is a few seconds that won't be missed by anybody. This however is not the case. Whole days have gone missing this week and I don't know where to. What I do know is that a LOT of things have pissed me off this week.
I'm not one to rubbish people in public - (honest) - but recently I've found myself working alongside some piss-ant little boy who looks like a monkey puppet a small child forgot to finish and then threw in the road to be rained on and forgotten about. Anyway, handsomeness aside, there's been this mini-project going on at the moment to design some adverts. I'm not the greatest designer in the world but I'm not the worst either. He however, is. So imagine my genuine surprise this morning when in my inbox I discovered an email praising my work with the tagline of "well done" at the end. Some of you will have seen me cross before, but this well and truly rattled the Smith-Cage.
The oddest thing about it was that he had sent me his designs so I could look at them suggesting I could look at the fonts for him along with some of the design parts. I threw it in the trash faster than you can read this. In this scenario my simian pal, what exactly are you bringing to the party? The sheet of blank paper it goes on? Jesus...
Then there was the two fuckhead estate agents who think they are all so big and clever by confronting me with the fact that I am a smoker when the property I had just viewed was advertised as non-smoking. I asked him if it was a problem and he said that it could become a problem...
My first response was that I may be a smoker but I didn't look like a child molester. Neither do I mainline heroin, break into houses, drink-drive, smack bitches up or charge vastly inflated administration charges for doing pretty much NOTHING AT ALL TO HELP ME. So, as much as I really like their property and would dearly love to live there, they can kiss my exhaust.
The shit list is long this week, but I shall stop there lest I get into trouble - I actually feel better now. I'll hang onto the other fuckers in case I need to vent again tomorrow.
Fact. I've been in the shittiest week long mood I have ever been in. Tomorrow I'm going to make an attempt to fake my way out of it until it becomes real. This is mostly because I think I thought my way into it, so there must be a similar way out.
