Best Books Of 2012:

Or rather, the best books that I read during 2012. Some were still hot from the delivery truck when I picked them up, others could possibly be from 2011 and sat on the shelf for longer than intended. Hey, it wouldn't be a list that I made if it was well organised would it: 1. The Tooth Fairy - Graham Joyce 

OK. Having done my research for this post, I see that The Tooth Fairy came out originally back in the mid nineties. Too bad. It's still the best book I've read all year. It's kind of what you think it might be like, but then it goes and does so many different things and walks so many unknown paths that it really is difficult to describe - and it's wonderful on all those levels. I've seen some rough as hell covers for it though. Ignore them. It's an out and out giant slayer.

2. Up Jumps The Devil - Michael Poore

I picked this up at the airport in Colorado (a woman from Derby sold it to me who pinpointed my birthplace accent - I thought I had lost that long ago) and I stripped it down on the plane, train and an automobile. Obviously not whilst driving. Great character, great time spanning story, a slick sense of humour (an American that gets irony - totally worth the entrance fee) and generally a brilliantly fun  - dare I say - laugh out loud novel to lose yourself in for hours on end. Great cover design - bonus!

3. The Lighthouse Keeper - Alan K. Baker

This sounded like every book I would never read. A book about a lighthouse? Written by somebody who sounds like he might be a news-reader? Be fooled no longer. This one is a stealth bomber. Weird as hell. I didn't have clue where it was going, not even on the last page and that's because although it's about er... weird shit that goes on at a lighthouse, the book is more about the keepers themselves and therefore more about human nature and as we all know, when humans are trapped on a rock with a lighthouse and weird shit occurs, anything can happen. And does. Almost as bad a cover as Tooth Fairy but not sure what I would have done differently if faced with the task...

4. Say You're Sorry - Michael Robotham

Sometimes, you simply need a book in which people get bumped off and you can't figure out who it is or why. This is my crime pick of the year because I read it one day and that's a good enough recommendation as you'll get. With a superb lead character who's not a copper or damaged in the way that coppers normally are, the whole Joe O'Loughlin series is worthy of a lot more attention that they're getting. Get off your sofa, go find some and read them in order. No comment on the cover of this - professional "look at me I'm a crime novel' design going on here. Which is what's called for. Michael... write more... faster please.

5. The Wrath of Angels - John Connolly

Well. There's no show without punch and I still say Connolly is the best writer in the country. I think this deserves to be higher on the list but circumstances meant that I picked it up day of release which wasn't necessarily conducive to me paying the best of attention. Thus, it took me a while to get started with it. My fault, not his. If I started it again today it would be a different story. If you're not familiar with Charlie Parker, best go and log onto janetandjohn.com or lookatmepetthedog.com because you're no reader friend of mine. The best crime series, let me think... since McBain's 87th Precinct plus added supernatural elements that mean... well, I still haven't figured out what they mean but it doesn't matter. 'Fucking incredible' is as good write up you'll find. The covers? Pretty good - when the series started they were different and I had never seen anything like them but they brought them into line for the 'stupid people'. I'll let it pass simply because what goes on inside the pages is so damned good.

6. Manhood For Amateurs - Michael Chabon

My latest flame. Currently reading his entire catalogue one after the other. Something I've never done with anybody before. Chabon is phenomenal but something of an acquired taste. This particular book is a collection of essays on being a father - which is as far from as dull as it sounds as I can get. Quite honestly, Chabon is the kind of writer that makes me wonder why I even entertain such dreams but he's so good that you can't help but hand out large plates of respect. He's probably a great guy as well. Bastard. Nice selection of covers on both sides of the Atlantic - which makes a change. He also has out of control hair. I think we should be friends.

7. Gods and Beasts - Denise Mina

Is Denise Mina still the UK's best kept secret? I see a pattern emerging with myself for detective fiction in which nothing is the same as it has been for far too many years with regards to UK crime. Anyway - I'm not going to say anything about this. Go discover her for yourself. There are too few surprises in life without me taking the few that remain. Nice covers too. I can spot a Denise Mina at fifty paces. That's a good thing.

8. Falcons of Fire and Ice - Karen Maitland

I really mean this: Karen Maitland is not for everybody. You'll have figured that out during the first paragraph of any of her books. But if she strikes the chord with you, each and every one of her books comes as some kind of gift that fell off a godlike cloud. Totally unique. I have never read anything like her stories and I adore every single one for all the right reasons. Stellar stories with massive amounts of thought goes into the production right down to the paper and the typeface - and the covers... what can I say about the covers? Among some of the best work ever laid on a cover? Without question. I'm talking hardback here, you don't get the same effect with the paperbacks. Why isn't this at number one on the list?

9. Every One Loves You When You're Dead - Neil Strauss

Strauss returns which a collection of interview snippets with seemingly everybody in the whole world. Strung together with a loose theme, this is one for pop culture guzzlers to get their teeth into (and it serves Klosterman right for not writing something I could put on the list). The guy writes so well, I'd punch him in the mouth if I didn't want to shake his hand for setting the standard the rest of us culture types to attempt to live up to. Like Chabon, he's seems like a genuinely great guy too. I shall not however call him a bastard because he has no hair at all and has therefore suffered enough already. Cover? Not great. Good job I didn't judge it from the cover or it would still be on the shelf.

10. The Prisoner of Heaven - Carlos Ruis Zafon

Zafon. At this point in the run, I'm hardly likely to be able to talk you into loving the man and his work, so if you've been playing the 'Shadow' game, you'll already have been here and nodded sagely to yourself. If not, see the advice at the end of number five. I like these covers even though I think I shouldn't. That means they're working. Ignore me. I'm just bitter than nobody asked me to have a go at them.

•••

An interesting list. I need to tidy it up some thoughts. Nesbo didn't make the list because I didn't think The Bat was very good (for obvious reasons if you're a fan). Rankin returned with Rebus and I made the mistake of going for it on audiobook from audible - where it's read by the most annoying Scot on the planet. Truly dreadful but it's Rebus so I'll return to that one by purchasing something with pages in it. Shit cover. All the Rebus redesigns are shit. I hate them. True fact. That's a lot of hate for a set of book covers but they look cheap and disrespectful. Clive Barker's Abarat: Absolute Midnight nearly made the list but I'm just waiting for another instalment of something that isn't bloody Abarat to be frank. Me and the rest of the world. It will come. Gaiman has been a bit quiet. Was the Graveyard Book this year? That was a good read, but I've read so many kids books this year that I thought I might do a separate list... not that it was strictly a kids book I guess.

It's not right of me to actually name the worst book of the year is it but I think it was Daughter of Smoke and Bone. I made it through maybe a chapter and then decided to wash my hair instead. Sorry. That's the way it crumbles sometimes.

What did we learn here? Two things I think. 1. Brilliantly written original books need great covers so that people will be inclined to pick them up and investigate more. 2. People called Michael write really good books.

Le Fin.

Publishing: A Game of Thrones.

The weekend came and went without incident - more or less. I'm not sure where those days went though. Nor yesterday. Probably in a haze of copy-editing, proofing, scratching the head and hoping that pretty soon, like the schedule says, this issue of the magazine will finally go to print. Work continues to get this site figured out before the end of the year. For those that missed it, many months ago, I moved here and built the site straight out of my head, live onto the page so that I knew when things weren't right and thus would be fixed pretty damn fast out of shame. The idea was - and still is - to call myself out on the projects that are going somewhere and identify the ones that were simply a good idea at the time but didn't have enough legs to take them anywhere special. The stone is being chipped away at fast and things are starting to feel like they're a little more achievable - then again, I did give myself a list from hell.

What's intriguing about this "thing" that I'm doing, is that I'm still torn between doing everything myself or working with a publisher - or rather, starting the long task of finding one. I made contact with an author that I haven't spoken to for about five years yesterday who had a bad experience with a large publishing company and only through being smart, managed to rescue himself and his canon from oblivion. He seems happy now with a much smaller publisher - we must talk further. Insider info can be invaluable. That was closely followed by this article I found, in which a novel, despite great things being said by email from the big guns themselves, appeared to remain in development hell for over ten years. Ten years!

Nobody has ten years to spend waiting around to decide if your book is good enough to publish or not. I don't care who you are or how big - that's nothing more than being shit at your job and you should be handed your papers and told to never come back again. Apart from it being incredibly lazy and oh, the lies you must have spun over that period, that's somebody's life being played with. Which is a good a reason as any to have an agent, but there's nothing written in law to say that the agent will do any better either.

I know a published author who doesn't live so far away from me who can't even get her agent to respond to her emails. Genuinely important emails about touring, money and what the status is of the book she submitted over six months ago. With a little research, we discovered that he was probably sleeping with one of his other female authors who is selling books at a good rate. Which all goes to prove one thing regardless of where you stand in life. When you're on the up, everybody wants to know you and be associated. When you're on the way down, they scatter like crows. The solution so far as I can see, is to do everything yourself (and I mean everything) and remember not to be a dick to anybody whether you, or they, are on the up or down. Nobody will ever care about your product as much as you do. Somebody will always take a bigger cut for the privilege of working on it than you will and you will forever be wondering when the axe will fall when your new one sells a little less than the last one.

It's harsh out there.

Then again - having your book in front of millions of shoppers every day is damned priceless. Such is the need for a publishing company - actually, that's not true. "Such is the need for a distribution company" would be more like it. It will change. I know it will because I know how the distribution points work and in a digital age, the stores are struggling to make it work on a daily basis. I just don't know when.

Now, you're probably feeling like I am. Sitting there thinking that yes, "Smith is correct. I must do it all myself because nobody else cares but me" - but the idea of selling a ton of books via a real store never goes away. Maybe that's a good thing. I'm just going to keep moving forward as best as I can - that's all any of us can do.

Also noteworthy out there this week is the appearance of Rowling's new book which has replaced 50 Shades as the "item of the week to pimp to death" in all stores across the land. No idea what it's like - it's not about a boy who is a wizard so I don't really care, but if you're a published author who wants to sell millions, that's what you're up against. I haven't even seen James Herbert's Ash in that many places since it (quietly) appeared last week - and The Wrath of Angels from John Connolly in even less places. That's sad - but not as sad as being a moth eaten hare on the end of a couple of sticks:

COMMERCIAL BREAK:

Talking of making it, which we kind of were, I'll leave you with the trailer for The Runaways movie. Much under-rated, highly enjoyable and if you've not seen it already, please go and sit in the corner.