Best Books Of 2012:

Or rather, the best books that I read during 2012. Some were still hot from the delivery truck when I picked them up, others could possibly be from 2011 and sat on the shelf for longer than intended. Hey, it wouldn't be a list that I made if it was well organised would it: 1. The Tooth Fairy - Graham Joyce 

OK. Having done my research for this post, I see that The Tooth Fairy came out originally back in the mid nineties. Too bad. It's still the best book I've read all year. It's kind of what you think it might be like, but then it goes and does so many different things and walks so many unknown paths that it really is difficult to describe - and it's wonderful on all those levels. I've seen some rough as hell covers for it though. Ignore them. It's an out and out giant slayer.

2. Up Jumps The Devil - Michael Poore

I picked this up at the airport in Colorado (a woman from Derby sold it to me who pinpointed my birthplace accent - I thought I had lost that long ago) and I stripped it down on the plane, train and an automobile. Obviously not whilst driving. Great character, great time spanning story, a slick sense of humour (an American that gets irony - totally worth the entrance fee) and generally a brilliantly fun  - dare I say - laugh out loud novel to lose yourself in for hours on end. Great cover design - bonus!

3. The Lighthouse Keeper - Alan K. Baker

This sounded like every book I would never read. A book about a lighthouse? Written by somebody who sounds like he might be a news-reader? Be fooled no longer. This one is a stealth bomber. Weird as hell. I didn't have clue where it was going, not even on the last page and that's because although it's about er... weird shit that goes on at a lighthouse, the book is more about the keepers themselves and therefore more about human nature and as we all know, when humans are trapped on a rock with a lighthouse and weird shit occurs, anything can happen. And does. Almost as bad a cover as Tooth Fairy but not sure what I would have done differently if faced with the task...

4. Say You're Sorry - Michael Robotham

Sometimes, you simply need a book in which people get bumped off and you can't figure out who it is or why. This is my crime pick of the year because I read it one day and that's a good enough recommendation as you'll get. With a superb lead character who's not a copper or damaged in the way that coppers normally are, the whole Joe O'Loughlin series is worthy of a lot more attention that they're getting. Get off your sofa, go find some and read them in order. No comment on the cover of this - professional "look at me I'm a crime novel' design going on here. Which is what's called for. Michael... write more... faster please.

5. The Wrath of Angels - John Connolly

Well. There's no show without punch and I still say Connolly is the best writer in the country. I think this deserves to be higher on the list but circumstances meant that I picked it up day of release which wasn't necessarily conducive to me paying the best of attention. Thus, it took me a while to get started with it. My fault, not his. If I started it again today it would be a different story. If you're not familiar with Charlie Parker, best go and log onto janetandjohn.com or lookatmepetthedog.com because you're no reader friend of mine. The best crime series, let me think... since McBain's 87th Precinct plus added supernatural elements that mean... well, I still haven't figured out what they mean but it doesn't matter. 'Fucking incredible' is as good write up you'll find. The covers? Pretty good - when the series started they were different and I had never seen anything like them but they brought them into line for the 'stupid people'. I'll let it pass simply because what goes on inside the pages is so damned good.

6. Manhood For Amateurs - Michael Chabon

My latest flame. Currently reading his entire catalogue one after the other. Something I've never done with anybody before. Chabon is phenomenal but something of an acquired taste. This particular book is a collection of essays on being a father - which is as far from as dull as it sounds as I can get. Quite honestly, Chabon is the kind of writer that makes me wonder why I even entertain such dreams but he's so good that you can't help but hand out large plates of respect. He's probably a great guy as well. Bastard. Nice selection of covers on both sides of the Atlantic - which makes a change. He also has out of control hair. I think we should be friends.

7. Gods and Beasts - Denise Mina

Is Denise Mina still the UK's best kept secret? I see a pattern emerging with myself for detective fiction in which nothing is the same as it has been for far too many years with regards to UK crime. Anyway - I'm not going to say anything about this. Go discover her for yourself. There are too few surprises in life without me taking the few that remain. Nice covers too. I can spot a Denise Mina at fifty paces. That's a good thing.

8. Falcons of Fire and Ice - Karen Maitland

I really mean this: Karen Maitland is not for everybody. You'll have figured that out during the first paragraph of any of her books. But if she strikes the chord with you, each and every one of her books comes as some kind of gift that fell off a godlike cloud. Totally unique. I have never read anything like her stories and I adore every single one for all the right reasons. Stellar stories with massive amounts of thought goes into the production right down to the paper and the typeface - and the covers... what can I say about the covers? Among some of the best work ever laid on a cover? Without question. I'm talking hardback here, you don't get the same effect with the paperbacks. Why isn't this at number one on the list?

9. Every One Loves You When You're Dead - Neil Strauss

Strauss returns which a collection of interview snippets with seemingly everybody in the whole world. Strung together with a loose theme, this is one for pop culture guzzlers to get their teeth into (and it serves Klosterman right for not writing something I could put on the list). The guy writes so well, I'd punch him in the mouth if I didn't want to shake his hand for setting the standard the rest of us culture types to attempt to live up to. Like Chabon, he's seems like a genuinely great guy too. I shall not however call him a bastard because he has no hair at all and has therefore suffered enough already. Cover? Not great. Good job I didn't judge it from the cover or it would still be on the shelf.

10. The Prisoner of Heaven - Carlos Ruis Zafon

Zafon. At this point in the run, I'm hardly likely to be able to talk you into loving the man and his work, so if you've been playing the 'Shadow' game, you'll already have been here and nodded sagely to yourself. If not, see the advice at the end of number five. I like these covers even though I think I shouldn't. That means they're working. Ignore me. I'm just bitter than nobody asked me to have a go at them.

•••

An interesting list. I need to tidy it up some thoughts. Nesbo didn't make the list because I didn't think The Bat was very good (for obvious reasons if you're a fan). Rankin returned with Rebus and I made the mistake of going for it on audiobook from audible - where it's read by the most annoying Scot on the planet. Truly dreadful but it's Rebus so I'll return to that one by purchasing something with pages in it. Shit cover. All the Rebus redesigns are shit. I hate them. True fact. That's a lot of hate for a set of book covers but they look cheap and disrespectful. Clive Barker's Abarat: Absolute Midnight nearly made the list but I'm just waiting for another instalment of something that isn't bloody Abarat to be frank. Me and the rest of the world. It will come. Gaiman has been a bit quiet. Was the Graveyard Book this year? That was a good read, but I've read so many kids books this year that I thought I might do a separate list... not that it was strictly a kids book I guess.

It's not right of me to actually name the worst book of the year is it but I think it was Daughter of Smoke and Bone. I made it through maybe a chapter and then decided to wash my hair instead. Sorry. That's the way it crumbles sometimes.

What did we learn here? Two things I think. 1. Brilliantly written original books need great covers so that people will be inclined to pick them up and investigate more. 2. People called Michael write really good books.

Le Fin.

THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DISAPPEARING EYEBROWS

It's the call from upstairs everybody dreads. You never think it can happen to you but it can strike at any time. "Dad.. can you come upstairs now please!"

Figuring the worst - a smoking plug socket maybe or a flooded bathroom - I tore up the stairs (after ignoring the first cry for help just to make sure it really was important) to find Rhiannon sitting on her bed crying her eyes out.

"What's happened, honey?"

"I'm sorry! I've accidentally shaved my eyebrows off. I didn't mean to - I didn't know that your razor was turned on all the time..."

Do you know how hard it is to keep a straight face while trying to explain that a razor isn't actually turned on, it's just sharp all the time? She made me promise not to tell anybody but then went and told all her friends one by one anyway, so I don't feel bad about doing the same. Every time I think about how you can possibly shave your eyebrows off by accident, it makes me properly laugh out loud. Not in the text way... Laurel & Hardy laugh out loud. Was it wrong to tell her they will probably grow back in a few days?

•••

I don’t know why they do it. It’s probably to keep jobs when there is no need to keep jobs but when an artist is marketed in his home country when, given half the chance, the rest of the world would be interested as well, well it’s a waste. No, not a waste - it’s a crying shame.

In this instance, I’m talking about Matt Nathanson and wondering why I’ve only this weekend discovered him. For the record, it wasn’t a spoon-fed link, that’s for sure. I’ve stopped looking at all that data driven garbage. It was something I read. If I can remember where I saw it, I’ll add it later.

Anyway, here’s this guy - largely undiscovered by me and I assume many others - who has seven albums of the most glorious acoustic based material under his belt and I’m totally knocked out by him. You can find his back catalogue and anything you might need to know at his site if you find yourself in a similar boat (new album out now and a tour with Kelly Clarkson currently ongoing) but what I’m thinking as I look harder is how long it took him to do it his own way. The first album is almost twenty years old now but I adore the journey he has been on. It probably hasn’t been easy - if I know songwriters at all, he’s probably thought of throwing in the towel more than once but from a listening perspective, I’d like to let him know, I’m stoked that he didn’t.

This weekend has been a genuine pleasure to work my way through with Matt hanging around in the kitchen - figuratively speaking of course, although he's quite welcome to come and write here any time he wants. It’s not very often I find new material that I know will last. If you like acoustic based material, Matt’s the very guy to call on.

Still on the subject of not knowing ‘why they do it’, I was going to take the kids to check out John Carter this evening but I couldn’t find one single screening of it in a 40 mile radius that wasn’t still flogging the dead horse of 3D. Can’t we just go and see a movie because it’s great and not because things might appear to be ‘coming towards us’? All that’s happened in this scenario is that four people who would have gone to see it, didn’t - and for all the batterings it’s gotten in the press, I still think it looked pretty hot, so by my calculations, they really needed some people on their side.

Meantime, I leave you with a video clip of a song that I can't quite believe came out as long ago as it appears. 1990 I believe. Where on earth did all the time go?

Currently reading: Denise Mina, The Last Breath

CARNAGE

Sometime yesterday while I was trying to get some of my fiction finished up, I came to the realisation that I could do much better than I had been. This led to me making a 'sweeping statement' as my friend Rowan likes to put it and I collected all reference to them and filed them away in the trash. So if you're maybe wondering what happened to those items, they have gone to a much better place. The stories however remain, they're getting revamped that's all - better characters, better stories but all wrapped up in one single direction with a far superior premise. Does it take everybody a really long time to get their thoughts in order? I don't know when it will be ready to roll again but the same rules will apply - a complete novel delivered as a serial. Right now, that's about all I know but behind the scenes, the work continues - and you know what? I'm much happier with the whole affair like this. It kind of makes a lot more sense and has taken a ton of pressure off.

Meantime, my new vinyl habit has spiralled right out of control in a very short space of time. I haven't bought this much music in what must be twenty years. In the short few days since I've had this Amstrad deck (or Ugly Betty as she has come to be known), I've made good start on a decent collection (or at least what I would term a decent collection anyway). Right now, it looks like this:

The Waterboys first three albums: The Waterboys: A Pagan Place and This Is The Sea, Mick Ronson's Slaughter on 10th Avenue, and Ian Hunter's debut along with his Short Back And Sides, Overnight Angels and All The Good Ones Are Taken. Sometime in the mail today, a cool copy of the Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction e.p. High Priest of Love should arrive. I'm going to stop there and kick back for a few weeks and actually enjoy the spoils of war. I will say this though - listening to vinyl is a massively different experience to both CD and any digital format.

Mr Smith has been vaccinated with a phonograph needle for the second time in his life - and all this vinyl has had a massive impact on me.

I have come to realise that I don't much like digital books either. I don't hate them but I adore reading and I love books. The e-reading experience is not doing it for me. I have tried and it is - frankly - an empty experience. This isn't my last word on the subject because it's quite complex. I think there is much value in e-books. At the moment, my main thoughts are that e-books are great for trying out a new author at low to no cost (if that sort of thing bothers you), firing out samples, when you want to take a huge stack of books on holiday or even to load up on textbooks that would otherwise soak up ... the list is endless really.

But it's not a book is it. Statement not question.

It's a novelty and it wears off.

Over the last few days and notably before this decision hit me, I have bought at least half a dozen books. A copy of Stephen Davis' LZ-'75 (The Lost Chronicles of Led Zeppelin's 1975 American Tour), Denise Mina's The Dead Hour, The Book of English Magic and some others that I forget now and can't remember where I've put them either, but the point is these were all chance pick-ups, not from regular bookstores either. Of the three named, I've finished two and am about to start on The Dead Hour. These are not the reading habits of somebody with a kindle.

These are the reading habits of somebody that loves to read books. But like I said, it's complicated because comics are turning out to be tailor made for the ipad. Apart from work, I have also moved all of my magazine reading to the ipad as well.

Who knows how this will all pan out. Maybe it's all too hard-wired into my psyche. It's all pretty inconsequential really but on the record right here, right now. I love listening to great old vinyl albums and I love well put together books.

Recently reviewed at The Void: The Woman In Black and Van Halen's A Different Kind of Truth

UNPLUGGED

Before I begin I guess I had better own up that the Evil Dead poster I've used here, has nothing to do with the content of the post - but, I'm sure we can all agree, it's a great poster and therefore, valid on all fronts. I must admit, I'm totally enjoying romping through the complete series of The Invaders - there's tons of it and even though the kids thought it looked "old fashioned" and therefore presumably dull, it's brilliant.

I've fallen behind with my self imposed deadlines this week. I am due to publish past two of August Moon on the 14th - Saturday if memory serves - but I'm slap in the middle of a proper book deadline and have a show to host at the weekend. I was thinking that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to have these self imposed deadlines, but they are good for me. Maybe a better approach would be not to crucify myself when I miss them but instead, gently move them to a more convenient place - otherwise there's no point in trying to do something for yourself on the grounds of 'enjoyment'.

As the more observant will have noticed, I'm still playing around with the site on a 'live' basis. Not always the best of ideas but it works for me. This week, I have retracted all of my material from smashwords (based solely on the fact that it looked like trying to sell your brand new stuff at a freaking online jumble sale) and shall never return. Instead, I have done what I planned to do from the start - it just took me a bit longer to figure it out - and that was to drop everything on the kindle store at amazon. I can't give it away as I would like, but I have made it as cheap as possible and they have given me five days in the next three months during which I can give it away. I've not decided when those days will be yet and I should probably figure it out so that it works properly for people. File under pending until after the weekend...

Anyway, after the weekend, it will be time to start the PR for Black Dye, White Noise. I've kind of just let it sit there at the moment, which is fine by me, but with a week or so clear ahead of me, it will be time to get off my ass and into some friendly radio stations to maybe talk about it.

FINISHED READING: THE END OF THE WASP SEASON - DENISE MINA

NOW READING: THE TINY WIFE - ANDREW KAUFMAN and Denise Mina's HELLBLAZER graphic novel THE RED RIGHT HAND

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: THE PIERCES and ADDICTED TO RADIO/CLUB FM HAIR via this very sexy ROBERTS RADIO

LATER, I MIGHT: Go fencing. Not sure. My knees are more knackered than I thought. Also thinking I might proffer some thoughts on the new ETERNAL LAW show over at The Void.